I'm sorry to hear about your son, @leotrap. You and I are roughly the same age, and I couldn't imagine that kind of loss. Though what I'm going through is painful, I feel it's the proper order. Burying our parents is normal, but burying a child is not.
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Beyond the kicks in the soul and heart that life give us I'm a happy man. Full of life, and that philosophy of understand what birth and death are form child, is what we should have at least for me... SO man, maybe could be great TRYING to enjoy all the time that you can and want with you beloved people. The rest is out of our hands..so let's take it as they really are. Some things not depends from us at all... My Good Will for you man!