My opinion on the effect of social media on society
Disclaimer: This is my opinion based on personal experience, any sentence that might be read as a fact is just me fucking up the wording and should be read as an opinion. Also I will be limiting myself to how it changes behaviour amongst ourselves I am not going into the information being gathered/sold as that’s a different conversation for another time
I admit
I admit, I as many others me to have fallen for the charms of social media. As no matter what it does social media does have its charms and its positive sides (even though in this bog I’m only highlighting the ”Negatives” that I see) and I’ll continue using it.
The “Truth”
But what I’ve been realizing is that it is changing how we as a society are interacting with each other. Social media has started to be seen as the truth and facts about a person. If it is not on your social media it didn’t happen.
e.g. I have quite the couple of tattoos but because I do work with corporate clients I make sure that they can easily be covered at all times, I also never post them on Facebook (I just don’t feel the need to share every part of my life). So there are not a lot of people that know I have them. This one day I was wearing a short sleeved shirt and ran into one of my colleagues. She noticed one of my tattoos peeking out under of the sleeves. In shock and utter disbelieve she paused for a moment. I completely expected her to say something like ”YOU HAVE TATTOOS?!” but after a couple seconds she utters:
”Are those real, because I’ve not seen them on Facebook?”It goes as far as getting into conversation and a new topic starts in a way where you are just supposed to know what the other person is talking about just because:
”Huh? What do you mean you don't know? It was on Facebook.....”
A friend of mine mainly uses her Facebook for herself and once in a while her kids, there never is a man in the picture, so when she posted she was pregnant again people that didn’t know her that well, kept asking her who the father was. While all this time she has been happily married, for an undisclosed reason her husband just prefers to stay off of social media.
Again I have to admit, I also notice that once in a while I perceive Facebook as having the “complete truth”. E.g. when a relationship status is not set I assume that person is single, once in a while leading to quite the embarrassing/hilarious situations.
The Insta-pause
Going somewhere and doing things with friends used to be something secluded to those present and maybe the ones having to listen to the stories for years after.
In comes the Insta-pause… The insta-pause comes from today's need to share everything with everyone all the time, An insta-pause is the time where your activity has to be paused so you or anyone else can take that obligatory Instagram picture so the outside world can be involved. This in my opinion is a double edged sword on one side it expands your presence of the community and enforces your bonds with them. On the other side you are weakening the bond with the persons present at the activity (especially if they, don’t share the same social media sentiment) and other persons that might be attending the same activity with their own party but can’t see because the insta-pause of the person standing in front of them is blocking their view.
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Split personality
In my experience people that are extremely active tend to go through a split of their personality. They’ll have their “social media” personality and their normal one.
On social media they start pretending to be a certain person, usually nice, kind, active, fun and receiving. This personality you’ll also find when they go out to events where they “need” to apply the Insta-pause.
But when being with them on normal day to day activities, they are someone completely else.
Well if this is your cup of tea it’s not necessarily a bad thing, I guess. But personally I pick my friends for being “real” people, people that are their “real” selves in any situation. It just makes me feel better knowing that when a friend says something or has a good time it is because they actually mean it, and it’s not a persona they put up to get more likes.
What is a friend
This bring me these days, what is a friend… A friend used to be a person you’d go do things with, could always count on, some one that knew you and was there for you when needed.
But what is a friend these days? Yes the “old school” friends luckily still exist, but with the rise of social media “Having a friend” no longer means the same… Friends have become a means of gathering likes and popularity, the amount of friends has become a form of status. They are no longer required to know who you are as long as they like your photos or posts. Asking “how are you” has become a way to pretend to show interest and has become a sentence where no answer is expected (unless it is “good, and you” an equally meaningless sentence)
I’ve been asked on multiple occasion sometimes in a demeaning way
”Why do you have less than 100 friends on Facebook?”
Well I refer to what I said before under ”Split personality”, I prefer real friends even on my Facebook, Quality over quantity and all that jazz. Being a traveller making friends all over the world, Facebook for me is a means to keep in contact with all these people, and to share my experiences with them. Random strangers I never met I simply have no interest in sharing my life with.
Fair is fair there are things I like to share with the whole world. One of these things would be my art, but for this I have my Instagram.
Conclusion
Even though Social media has its charm and most certainly has its place in society there is no denying that it has changed us as a society and how we interact and see each other.
I think we no longer value our friends and close ones the way we used to do before and we’ve become fuelled by likes and followers while sacrificing closeness and “realness”.
I told you my point of view, what do you think? Do you agree/disagree? Do you have any input/feedback/suggestions? Do you think 9/11 was an inside job? Comment and let me know.
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Thank you for the read
🐺 @wolv
You're right about one thing, social media and technology are changing the way we interact and socialize. But Facebook is only temporary. They're going to probably look back on this as weird in the future, and it is.
But many "friends" were fake before facebook. And few actually ever cared how your day really was when they asked. These are not new things. Facebook just makes it obvious how many fake friends you have. It also makes it obvious how fucking racist your uncle or grandma or whatever is, and how much you can't stand your family, or that one "friend".
We'll eventually find a happy medium where we can communicate with the edges of our social network, and still keep more "intimacy".
All technology in its form is temporary, it evolves/gets replaced/renewed all the time, but social media will always exist in one way or an evolved other. I don't think Facebook will ever look at it as it was weird it's like a smartphone user looking at a telegrapher. It will look outdated and old but also as a step towards what ever it is they have at that stage.
Fake friends back in those days were only the "forced" friends. Those who needed you for their benefit, (those whose mom forced them to be) and those that were friends with the friend that liked having you around. But the proportion of fake friends back then was way less (well... I can only speak for me obviously... for all I know you were the rich obnoxious kid that had the newest things every one wanted to play with ;P ).
Your point about Social media making it more obvious is very valid, a lot of our traits are enhanced by social media, but I believe that not all these traits were there for everyone before social media and they just got implanted by others, or they drastically grew afterwards. I should have incorporated that into the piece to... ah well we live and learn.
I hope your right, I fear we will live more and more for the outside world than for the "inside" world (something in the direction of surrogates and ready player one), right until the point where that bubble explodes and everyone will be alone having to start all over finding the intimacy again
Either you're very lucky, or very unlucky, to not know what fake IRL friends are. You don't need to be rich to have people that are only friends for their own benefit. Hell, on facebook, the only real benefit they have to being friends with most people is a single digit higher on their number.
People provide many things: entertainment, emotional support, beer.
Some will be your friends when it's convienent for them, but not when it becomes more difficult.
Being rich was just an example. Of course there are benefits I am not arguing that before there were no fake friends, they were just there in less proportion to real friends (unless you suck at friend making) until the day of today I can knock on any of my friends doors when I need help an they will invite me with open arms and help me where they can.
Hahaahaha! :D 2nd paragraph made me laugh so hard! :D
+everything else is in place! :)
Can't get over that woman asking you if your tattoos were real because she hasn't seen them on Facebook, smh. Strong beliefs buddy and glad to hear someone else isn't part of the disinhibited society.
It's a sad state of affairs when people have to stop and take pictures of everything they do. I'm grateful I don't have any friends like that and the time we spend together is never interrupted by 'selfies' or social media related bs.
Thanks for the great read, I value your opinions.
Same here...I was absolutely stumped... Luckily id didn't go as far as her trying to rub them off to see if they were real... That would have finished the whole picture. But yeah this society is changing, I could easily have extended the post with a couple more paragraphs but then it would have become such a rant... so maybe for next time.
Yes the whole insta-pause... sadly I do have people like that among my friends... It is beyond annoying.
Thank you for reading! much appreciate it and your comment! Good to see that My point of view is shared by others
Oh yeah, that would have been a sight ha!
You got the length of your post spot on, nice, engaging and relatable. Just what the doctor ordered.
haha It's horrible when a random person starts touching your tattoos without asking... doing it for such a dumb reason... I think I would be allowed to push her over haha.
Nice! thank you, that is exactly the feedback I was hoping for :) Now I just need to work on the reach of my posts and I am set
Relationships are by definition how 2 or more entities relate or regard or are connected to each other. How we form relationships depends on how we relate and interact with the other entity. The relationship and the identity you project to your co-workers, church, or Parent Student Association is different than the identity you project to your lover, frat brothers, or family.
Social media has become a platform where people can express or project to the world an image that they feel best represents them at that time or an image that is viewed positively by their intended audience. As we live in a world where reputation is the difference between being seen or not; people are much more interested in maintaining a public image that is positive in the social groups they interact within each platform.
I feel that different platforms open up new possibilities for humans to be able to interact with each other on different levels and be able to create new relationships as they interact, learn and experience life together. By giving having the ability to interact with various platforms in the digital arena it has given most humans a fractured personality so to speak. Whereas we only highlight the parts of our lives that are in line with the image our intended audience wants to hear. We try to constantly validate our reputation within the communities we engage digitally so that we can continue to be heard and or noticed. Hence the adding selfies on Facebook, writing of content for Steemit, meeting of new people on linked-in, or your steamy POF profile.
Herein lies the issue: the more digital presence and visibility one has the more relationships they enter into. Our brains only have enough attention to so many things in one day, and trying to maintain all of those digital identities take a lot of time! A larger quantity of interactions lowers the quality of those same interactions because there is less time per individual. So which relationship is bringing you the most benefit? Is listening to grandma talk about her family more important than taking that million dollar photo of the sunset to win a competition?
Wow! quite the impressive reply. Thank you so much! And I absolutely agree with most of what you said, and think we are almost pretty much in line. But about your second paragraph I still think the persona we put on social media does not necessarily represents the person best in their own eyes. I think that persona is what they think would show the audience exactly what they want to see in the hope that they will perceive you as being that persona.
Like I said in the blog social media has it's place and does indeed open new possibilities. It's just changing the dynamic of the intimacy with the people closest to you
(sorry for not replying in the same extend as your reply haha, but I'm beat. just answering replies before hitting the bed)
I hope there is more good interactions as well. I tried to sell reading this on my contest.
I saw indeed! thank you very much :) I hope a couple more see it too, but we'll see as it's still quite low in the reply list
@originalworks
Will try and pop back when vote is worth something to upvote this piece. Sharing it with some non-steem friends.
Awesome! that would be very much appreciated! thank you.
Any thoughts on the piece it self?
I wish I could upvote this 10 times. Very insightful and spot on.
Haha I wish you could to! But that's what the resteem button is for :P
Thank you man! Yeah I recon that I wasn't going to be the only one seeing/thinking like this.
We'll see how steemit reacts
Well have you ever been added on facebook by people you have no idea who they are, and you do not have any mutual friends?! I always wondered how the hell did you find me?!
Most of the superstars- sportsman for example - use it as a way to break some solitude and also express themselves, after all they train the whole day in the quarantine and everything. Likes are fuel for them - I might be wrong. On the other hand self promotion is very popular nowadays, without any intention to get into a friendship.
Regarding split personality, I see this so often, even not related to the social media, it's like when you have a person who have 3 characters when he/she is authority; is under authority by someone, and equalized with the people. I guess that can be related to split personality for social media > everyone wants to be the biggest authority, trend setter, influencer or whatever they are called nowadays.
I find Facebook very useful for getting some information about underground gigs, cinema projection, cultural happening in the city; Also getting in touch with so many real friends in different countries, but with WhatsApp and Viber this is not the real reason anymore actually. :)
I think this is enough from me :) as I start writing everything goes boom :)
Hey man thanks for your input!
I have indeed, I always assume they either saw your reply on a post somewhere an decided to add you or are driven by a bot that somehow searches for random names.
About the superstars and sportsmen I don't know, they have plenty of events I wouldn't be surprised if they'd prefer their real family and friends to help them trough those times. I think for them followers and likes are more a popularity contest resulting in more revenue (also would not be surprised if most of their social media platform have a guy behind it that does it for them)
Self promotion without wanting friendship is exactly one of the points I was trying to make and I think it plays very well with the next point you make about split personality. It might indeed already have existed before and that now with social media it is just voiced out more and more apparent and easier to do.
Social media has its benefits indeed, it is a great source for some forms of information. Also yes it is still valuable in staying in contact with friends and family all over the world even with whatsapp and viber etc. Now I can simply post a picture of the holiday I want to share with them in one place instead of having to whatsapp it to each and all. Or if I quickly want to inform the whole lot about something (just examples).
If i want to go into more details with them I would indeed use whatsapp
I'm going to take my time tomorrow after my assignment to properly comment on your post @Wolv. My SP is down at the moment so that Up vote will be coming a bit later!
awesome man! I'll be looking forward to it. It would be much appreciated
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thanks @wolv for your insights and opinions. I think Social Media has kind of taken over especially with the Millenials. I was at Cici's pizza with my family last night. And there was young couple in upper teens/early twenties right in the booth in front of us. Really nice looking, maybe even considered glamorous, celebrity like. But they were both sitting next to each other looking at the phones non stop throughout their dinner together. Just weird !
It was so bizarre to me. This young man had this gorgeous, vivacious young lady and he never looked up from his phone to make eye contact with her.
So Social media has it's good points but also not so good points. It seems to make some people just skip the human relation part of looking each other eye to eye in person. Kind of sad :(
Thanks for sharing your opinion @robertandrew. I do absolutely agree with you even though I am a Millenial myself (and do have some of the traits of that too...).
It's like I said SocialMedia is amazing for getting a better connection with the outside world, but you'll have to sacrifice part of your "inside" world for it.
When I am in a group I do still look at my phone once in a while (as I am quite introverted and when noone is talking to me I don't know what to do haha, Yes I should indeed work on that).
Or if I am with people I don't like...
But if it's one on one... with someone interesting I won't even know my phone exsists
That made a lot of sense. Thanks
Thank you! I thought so too. Of course it being an opinion I hope it sparks some conversation about the issue :)
Feel free to resteem if you think others might enjoy reading it too
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Sorry! Was kind of working on a project yesterday until late.. ;-) I totally agree with you on this part. - fuck man - I am so tired, I cant write you a comment. But you already know my thoughts about this.
Social Media is more about 'me' than about your friends. Every body wants to be seen. I've deleted my Facebook (just re-activated it today just to check some shit out), because of the lack of 'personal' touch you miss when you're communicating through Facebook.
Haha no worries man! We already talked about most of it. Don't forget to grab your moments of sleep man ;)
And I agree Social media does make us more selfcentered
Resteem.
I have been using social media in one form or another since 2001. Myspace, Friendster and all the top networks of today. In the beginning I was excited by the fact that in less than a few clicks, I could be smoozing with celebrities and leading influencers of the time. Myspace was also a good ego boost for my friend profile. I was "friends" with Oprah, The Dalai Lama and whoever was the chief asshat in office at the time.
Little did I know, i was "friends" with their intern. lol. I used the network to bolster my online reputation to help my then thriving social software company.
Fast forward 16 plus years, I now see social media as a way to help me, a hermit, to actually have real conversations with people from around the world.
I see social media as a way to reach people who I find intriguing and who have something important to say.
I have made real world friends because of the reach of social media and am very thankful for this.
I do see youngster texting each other at restaurants, which i find hilarious, but i do know that as Americans, we desperately need ways to re kindle the lost art of communication in what ever form inspires us.
Thats my two cents. (probably more like 0.01) ty for the great conversation.
Like I mentioned Social media has its good sides too, I am kind of a hermit myself too and have met plenty of amazing friends trough there :) But even so it also makes me more at ease to stay at home.
So even tho I do 100% agree with you :) my piece was from my observations around me :P and obviously hermits like us don't count... as I don't see those as they are stuck inside haha
Thank you very much miss!