Philosophy is really all about learning how to die.
When I talk about death I mean it in a metaphorical/symbolical meaning. We are constantly bombarded by old dogmas, alienating ideologies, biases.
To live a full life, to live a life without fear, we must engage in Socratic dialogue of the self. Plato said it best in the Apology line 38b, "the unexamined life is not worth living." And so we when we question about patriarchy, white supremacy, about imperialism, about death, about everything; we must allow our old self to die from it, and reborne a new self. A self that is constantly trying to reach a status beyond the old.
Knowing how to die this way, just like what you've been doing brother, for 25 years you said you've been questioning the existential reality of death can bring you one step closer to serenity.