Am I depressed?

in #life5 years ago (edited)

depression-girl-sadness-262102.jpg

December 2018, almost 8mos. ago. I quit my job as it was overwhelming, I wasn't happy anymore and the management sucks.

Before I quit though, I made sure I had savings. I had a lot of time for myself, a lot of time sleeping and watching movies, tv-series, and Philippine shows I failed to watch before because of my job. Having to wake up, eat, and sleep whenever I want was the best thing I liked for being unemployed.

I did try to sell online(bags, secondhand clothes, swimming suits, and others). It was okay, just okay but not enough to for the bills. I do have a little internet shop though that helps a little. But now, online selling isn't doing any good so I thought maybe it's the best time to find another job.

I first thought of it in April and then days passed, weeks and now months I couldn't seem to do it. There are times when I feel empty, I stay in bed for 2-3 hours sometimes after I wake up. Even if I feel hungry I still don't get up. I feel like I no longer have a purpose in life. You know, my friends see me as a bubbly woman but they don't know what I really feel inside. So yes, no one knows what I'm feeling right now except you, here in steemit. I don't actually know if writing what I feel will help me. I don't know if what I'm feeling for the past months is just because I don't have a job or if this is already depression. Maybe a lot of you thinks I'm just someone who needs attention, I don't know. I really don't know. Sometimes I think, what if I'll just end it once and for all but I also think about my family. What will they feel if I go my own way? Having a lot of time made me think of all the bad things in my life. But trust me, I really wanted to have another job. I tried. I searched for companies, prepared for it but when the day comes, I just stop for a few hours again after waking up and end up not going at all.

Tell me, do you think I'm already depressed?

If you guys can read this and if it's okay to tell you more of my story, let me know. If you want to share some pieces of advice, I'd really appreciate it.

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You definitely sound mildly depressed and generally a little lost. Consider talking to a Doctor and getting some mild anti-depressants. Keep talking to people, don't lose contact and for some, sharing helps a lot. However, only you can break this vicious circle and all any of us can do is offer support.
I wish you best wishes and good for you for doing the most difficult thing which is opening up and talking about and admitting to yourself that you do have a problem.
Be nice to yourself and take care :-)

I do appreciate your words. However, I'm not sure if I can go to the doctor.

Ok...well you need to keep up with your Steemit therapy and be social with your friends and family but try to talk to a medical professional if you can please. It would help :-)

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I will try. One step at a time. I talk to my family but not personal stuff and how I'm feeling. I don't really wanna burden them and we weren't raised close to each other.

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