I have a fair amount to say, @rok-sivante, and will try to be as concise as I can (as I, too, feel the need to retreat from Steemit for a bit and overhear myself, more quietly).
To begin with, I'm not a daily writer, never have been, and believe in writing only out of an inner imperative (when I have something that demands to be said...). I do agree with you that we serve others best, when we serve ourselves. Which is to say, we're really of no good to anyone 'running on empty' or 'straining for feeling'.
One thing I've learned, when my innermost soul revolted against writing, or even speaking, is to trust this state. What is often mistaken for writer's block or dry spells are, paradoxically, quietly fertile--a regenerative state when our souls are being rewritten and readied for fresh utterance.
We do violence to ourself when we misread these inner prompts. Here are some echoes to what I'm saying:
"Even if at this time you are enduring through a time of bleakness...bleakness is never as bleak as it seems on the surface.
At the heart of the stripped down, in the rested cold stillness of winter, there is huge movement secretly at work."
~ John O'Donohue
Just as a fallow period is advised for the health of the soil, so it is with the soul, my friend.
'Dryland farming is made possible mainly by the fallow system of farming, a practice dating from ancient times. Basically, the term fallow refers to land that is plowed and tilled but left unseeded during a growing season.'
The challenge, of course, is to try and wait, purely, without expectations. Lastly, some words from an author rich in mystical insight:
'Let mystery have its place in you; do not be always turning up your whole soil with the plowshare of self-examination, but leave a little fallow corner in your heart ready for any seed the winds may bring, and reserve a nook of shadow for the passing bird; keep a place in your heart for the unexpected guests, an altar for the unknown God.
Then if a bird sings among your branches, do not be too eager to tame it. If you are conscious of something new—thought or feeling, wakening in the depths of your being—do not be in a hurry to let in light upon it, to look at it; let the springing germ have the protection of being forgotten, hedge it round with quiet, and do not break in upon its darkness."
—Henri-Frédéric Amiel
GOLDEN.
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💫 Happy it resonates... Wishing you well, all ways ♥️