I haven't been out of bed much since returning to my "Ex." Maybe I'm a depression extremist?
As I've mentioned in my blog, I'm not allowed to feed the cat.
Yesterday morning the cat woke me wanting food.
He rams my face with his head and rhythmically claws my skin.
I try to hide beneath the covers, but I can't sleep knowing he's hungry.
So, I fed him. Grabbed half a handful of dry food and placed it on the floor.
Later, my partner woke up and lost his mind.
"You're so f#### in stupid! You're a stupid mother f###er! You're the reason the cat isn't losing weight. You gave him too much. You don't care about me or the cat. You want us to die. You're so stupid. Stupid f### up you f#### up everything. Everything is f###ed because of you. This mantra against me was repeated for an hour or so.
I felt dismayed. My heart is hurt. He's hurt me so badly.
Yet I can't leave.
Enraged myself, I threw a plastic coat hanger so forcefully into the bathtub it snapped.
But I haven't gotten out of bed but a few times to eat.
One of the theories or fantasies I have about why I cannot leave and why he doesn't leave himself if it's true that I've brought nothing but hell into his life has to do with quantum entanglement.
"Quantum entanglement is a physical phenomenon that occurs when pairs or groups of particles are generated or interact in ways such that the quantum state of each particle cannot be described independently of the others, even when the particles are separated by a large distance—instead, a quantum state must be described ..." From Google.
Another guess is my soul can't grow until I can learn to remain calm and compassionate and treat him with kindness and love while he threatens to chop off my fingers, rip my teeth out and sleep with them under his pillow and hates everything about my existence.
I feel a force pulling me down. I told a relative recently that if God told me I'd be murdered by ,I'd still go back.
How does this happen? Where am I? I need a Steem miracle. Please help me.
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Thank you, Nova
welcome my friend youni if you have any question ask me ? and come to my blog @farhannaqvi7 where i give you happiness in just few second
Try to be positive about it :)
Maybe it's time for you to find some help against domestic abuse?
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Thank you.