Wow. You made a lot of sense in all these. I have a friend who does exactly what you are preaching against. It doesnt matter how much you give, but how much love is expressed in it.
All little good actions add up to even bigger ones
It's not about how big the favour was, it can be the smallest thing ever. Someone may be donating thousands of pounds to charity but is doing that just because this is regarded as a good deed. He does not care, he does it without any thought, without any meaning, without understanding the purpose of good. Of course, the money is going to help the charity and he may get the blessing of many as well but you need to be aware of your actions. You need to do things through your own will, not through any compulsion of any sort.
Think about that woman who was crossing the road and fell because her heel broke and you helped her get up. Think about that old man in the line behind you in the supermarket who you let pass first. Think about that pregnant woman on the train who you offered your seat. It's all those little things which add up at the end of the day.
These are also an addition to the ways of showing kindness mentioned above.
Keep doing good @gavvet.