The days of meeting face to face with someone you want to date are disappearing fast. Many people use dating apps that link them to favorite dating websites. Favorite apps include Grindr, Tinder, Bumble, and Her. But online dating is a minefield. Here are five pitfalls of using dating apps and how to minimize the dangers.
1. Robbers can take advantage of you
Perhaps you have read about Jordan Kellogg, a 20-year old man from Omaha. A couple of days ago, a judge sentenced him to 24-40 years in jail for a string of dating app thieveries. Jordan pretended to be a woman and robbed his victims when they turned up for the dates. Instead of finding a lovely young woman, the victims would see two or three armed men.
Another case involved a Wallingford man who met a mystery woman called "Kristen" on a popular dating site called Plenty of Fish. When he arrived at the place of the meeting he met with two men, one armed with a knife, who demanded cash. "Kristen" was nowhere to be seen. The story was reported by News 8 on May 29, 2018.
2. You can be a victim of catfishing
I read a recent magazine article where a young woman confessed to dating a man online who turned out to be 40 years her senior. He pretended to be a 25-year old with a stable job as a lecturer at a prestigious university. He told the woman that he had no kids and was looking for someone who was willing to commit to a long-term relationship. People who masquerade to be what they are not online are said to be “catfishing.”
Some dating apps are trying to end catfishing by watermarking messages with the sender's name and photo to hold people responsible for what they send. Some have photo sharing features where human moderators try to authenticate the identity of members. The technology is developing but eliminating key malpractices is still a long way off.
3. You can open yourself up for harassment
“I got myself the popular dating app Bumble,” said one young man, “and set up a date with a girl from a nearby town. The girl started sending me abusive messages when I changed the meeting time.” Based on a study published on Abodo.com, 27 percent of the 3,500 college students interviewed reported that they were victims of harassment in one way or another as a result of using dating apps. Of those who experienced harassment, 86 percent were female or transgender respondents.
4. Apps encourage you to judge a book by the cover
Dating apps work by showing you pictures of people in your area. You are encouraged to either swipe "left" to pass or "right" to like. The apps match users when both swipe "right" on each other. After that, they start messaging each other. But that is judging a book by the cover. You are messaging a complete stranger based on a photo that may not even be genuine. You neither know a person’s intentions or character.
5. You are likely to let down your guard
“I set up a date with a complete stranger," said one dating app user. "I went to his apartment, and he looked different from the picture I had. He mentioned me to enter, but I refused and left.” It is dangerous to meet people in private, but many do and run into problems. People tend to be trusting when online, which is unwise.
If you choose to use a dating app to find love, you should meet at a public place or go with someone else. Even better go first with a group of friends. But it is best to date people you know. Parents, buy out the time to educate your children about the dangers of online dating. Act now to protect yourself and those you love from online predators.