Commenting in full the way your post deserves is not possible right now, so I'll just touch on some thoughts that arose.
The f-word may have an intricate history interwoven with that of the deed, but has become more of an irrelevant expletive and an item of fashion for seeking social acceptance that anything else, in my opinion.
The physical togetherness and interdependent functioning of our portals of life and our portals of erotic pleasure are historically more intimately woven together and it may, for the sake of understanding, be good to identify these as entities in their own right.
And talking about these, would it not perhaps be sensible for us to refer to our portals of life as our 'portals of life' - would in not perhaps help to divorce conversations on this subject from the vulgarities that have crept into our culture?
And on gender identity - may all souls eventually have a happy journey through life!
Regards