I was sleeping with other people, and I made that clear to her. I was in my ‘having fun’ stage and I wanted to rack up some numbers, as gross as that makes me sound. But when you meet someone who is fun and good in bed and a genuinely good person, you can’t just say goodbye to them. I didn’t know if I would meet someone like her again when I was ready, so I decided I was ready now and lucky she felt the same way.
I fell in love with her very quickly, she wasn’t like my exes. There was something about those nights with her in my arms that made me open up to the possibility of being together. She had kind of entered into the agreement with that notion, so we started officially dating after just a month of trying to be casual.
I truly thought I didn’t deserve her and she’d never feel the same way about me, which is why I never pushed for anything beyond. She was beautiful and successful and had a lot of friends, I was living with my parents and trying to get my life together. One day she told me she was seeing someone else and caught the hurt look in my eye. Confused, she pressed me about why I’d be hurt when I was the one keeping her at an arms distance. I realized how stupid I was being and told her how lucky I’d be if she wanted to be with me.
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