BitterSweet Love

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I was married and we have two boys.
My parents lived across the country.
We had traveled back and forth a few times .
The last trip ,I went alone with our boys.
My father had had a heart attack and he went home,then he had a second,which led to more health issues and was in the hospital four months.
My husband did not want to come back as my Dad had lived in a small town and also had extreme weather ,snow,sleet,rain,
Constantly cloudy ,you cant tell the nightime from the day most of the time and in summer it was very humid ,also it rains alot.
You saw the sun probably only 20% of the year
So, I stayed as my father needed me.He had no one else.
My parents were married 18 years,and remained friends but they lived two hours away from each other.
My father and I were very close. ,and after becoming an adult ,I can say he was like my best friend.We grew closer and closer.
I looked at my father as a man that was not afraid of anything.He was strong and grounded but now his body was failing and
My mother said to me that I needed to let go as he was only still alive was for me ,He knew that I would drown in sorrow for many years and he held on not wanting me in pain.So
before he died the last few months I had that awful feeling in my heart,like being in a car and seeing another coming to crash into me.You are helpless.I had never felt like that before There was nothing I could do .
The last time I saw him alive ,I told him that I loved him so much and could not imagine even being in a world without him.Then I told him ,I would be fine,I know he hated being in the hospital and that I do not want him hurting anymore.
He took my hand and said he was afraid and what could he do if I wasnt there.I told him to just sleep,dream let go then....
I went home and he died six hours later,at 3am and he died in his sleep.
My family is Catholic, my father lived a good life,and yet he told me he was afraid.You never think of your parents as being afraid of anything.
It took me so long to get over this,I still miss him so much.
My mother, thought maybe moving back here would help me.
Now,remember my husband and I kept in touch, we even talked about a second honeymoon.
Before I left to go to my Dad ,My husband and I had gone to the jewelers as he had bought me a bridal set and so I left it there so they could sauter together the two rings.
A few years had passed.
While I was packing ,I found the receipt.
It had been so long.....
I called the Jewelers and woman said that it was now a different jewelers name,when I told her it was a few yrs ago she said hold on,let me check on something...
She came back on the phone and said to me she could not believe it but in the back on a shelf a small box with a tiny little ring.I have a three and a half ring size. I started crying and thought it was a sign that we belong together and it will all be ok with us.
So, we moved back here, I called and told my husband and he said he was out of town,in California he was visiting his mother.
So now a few weeks later he calls,I was leaving for work and I told him our son had a basketball game and where.
He showed up, and then everytime he came by was when I was working.
So,I had that feeling ....
The next day he called,i was at work,He said I need to tell you something,he told me there was a girl he was seeing and he has a five year old son with her.....
I was stunned and speechless
Oh,but he still Loves me....
Seriously? Really?
So.....
I placed an add
I have a wedding gown size 2 ...worn once by mistake
And I have advice for anyone who wants to hear as I have been through so much that if I wrote a book people would think it was fiction,and No the life I led is pure truth.
Never,ever would I have believed that I have survived so much.
But with each experience,comes learning,and wisdom