Have you at any point been in an awkward position where you extremely liked someone, but they simply didn’t like you back? You might have even been in a relationship with them or have tried to prove your love for them, but they didn’t see the need to stay. This happens regularly, and I believe it should be addressed to help someone in dying need of an explanation.
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As bad and awkward as this position is, I believe we all have been in it (Yes, including the finest and prettiest of us all). I have been in this situation quite a few times and trust me, it really sucks. However, I trust that the lessons I have learned would be beneficial to someone.
One reason could be that we might not have the exact values they seek or they don’t see our character in their future. The irony is that we are always out to express how precious we see them. Some people get so driven to show how much they care even to the detriment of their self-worth. To be honest, we get ourselves so focused on how attracted we are to that individual which makes us vulnerable. These common practices appear pleasant initially but soon take the negative curve when the “significant other” begins to perceive some sense of ingenuity in our actions.
Another reason could be how we act around them. Our actions might appear insecure because of the fear of losing the “loved individual” (this is the most common reason). We can’t really experience love in our lives when we’re bounded by feelings of fear on the inside. In most cases, our fear creates negative vibes. It's ok to be a little tensed up around the one you love, but this should not affect our character or personality.
From research, a lot of reasons could be attached to the awkward situation of not getting the affection we anticipate from those we love. We simply might not be the right partner for the ones we love. It could be the regular case of unmatched personalities or temperaments. There are four basic temperaments; sanguine, choleric, melancholic and phlegmatic. It's best we understand the different types of temperaments and know which one we best identify with before we fuel our desire to be with someone. Additionally, we might also be speaking different love languages. There are five love languages; Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, Words of affirmation and Physical Touch. Everyone identifies more with one or two of these love languages than the others. The truth is, we might be perfect but not suitable for the ones we love.
To be attractive, one must have some certain characters right; for example self-confidence.
How self-confident and comfortable were you around them?
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Actions and body languages could easily be misread. If we really relax and think about the last time we were in this awkward situation, we would admit that we might have allowed room for actions to be misread. Before you continue reading, self-examine yourself with the following questions:
Were you comfortable?
Were you really acting like yourself?
Were you feeling nervous, insecure and unworthy?
Were you trying to act like someone else rather than yourself?
Additionally, if we often find ourselves in the position where the individuals we love constantly break things off or are simply not interested in us, then I believe there’s a problem that needs to be solved. This problem needs to be solved urgently if we ever want to enjoy a healthy and loving relationship.
The following are steps to help avoid insecurity issues and the awkward position of not being loved by that special person.
Recognise the nature of your fear….then let it go ASAP.
Ask yourself deep questions to understand your fear; questions which would help you determine how, if, and why you get tensed around that special person. For example, the questions could include:
Are you terrified of being rejected?
Are you simply expecting to be rejected?
Observe how you act when you are around people….the ones you like and don’t like.
We tend to act more confident when we know we are around people attracted to us than those we love. This confidence makes us more attractive to those individuals. Similarly, to be more attractive to those we love, we ought to have the same self-confidence. Imagine yourself acting the way you do around those who are attracted to you. Also, another key to being attractive is being genuine. Therefore, it’s important we always express our own unique thoughts and feelings without hesitation.
Make a conscious effort to eliminate all forms of misleading habits.
After you must have observed your actions and character, it is important we learn lessons and do away with unpleasant or misleading habits. In the end, this helps us increase our understanding, boost our self-confidence and prepare us for our next relationship.
This piece is written in my own opinion and I am happy to welcome other views. I hope this has really been of great help to you and if it has, I would appreciate an upvote and resteem.
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