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Have you ever wondered if there's some kind of secret formula for getting a man to see you as the one woman he can't live without?
Or for finally understanding what's going on in his mind-and what he's really thinking about you and your relationship?
Some people might tell you that there's no secret- that every man is different and so has his own way of magical display. But the truth is that, there are certain magical truths that explain why a man will pick another woman over you.
Oh yea! It's no magic!
Or why you can do everything 'right' with a man, yet he still doesn't see that you're the catch or take home to mama.
Or why a man will come on strong, tell you that you're the most amazing woman in the world he's ever met, and then completely disappear from your life.
- Why did he do that?
- Was it him?
- Was it something you did?
- What if you could go back and change something would things have turn out differently?
Look,I'm going to be honest with you. I've practically studied on why a man have to do all those things that have driven you crazy. I can tell you honestly why he did those things and what makes him stick around for the long-term...
THE INTENSE EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION
It beats me to see that sometimes we refuse to see that we are better off beyond our looks and skin. Slowly yet so fast we've forgotten that person we are from the inside. We now practically settle for just stones instead of bread. We've traded on the wrong emotional attraction for so long and we feel satisfied with it yet we get broken in the end for it.
You'll agree with me that this topic above has a whole lot to do with our self-esteem.
It is a painful experience to be deeply connected with a man only to find him pulling away and losing interest.
Have you ever been with a man who seem to really like you, only to begin distancing himself and saying he really wasn't ready for a commitment?
- Why is that he ends up marrying the next woman he meets?
- Was he lying when he said he wasn't ready for a commitment?
The answer comes down to DEEP EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION
In all likelihood he was not lying when he said he wasn't ready for a commitment, infact, unlike women, a man's default mood is that he is not ready for (Or even looking for a commitment)
It takes a special kind of deep emotional attraction for a man to feel compelled to keep a woman in his life with a shared promise of committed intentions for the future.
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The Big question now is: what creates that intense emotional bond for men?
I can tell you one thing for certain. Men experience relationship for what they are here and now,in the present moment.
Research as at September 2017 has it that, with men and women in the early stages of dating relationships has shown that women typically consider themselves to be 'in a relationship' by the third time on a date.
In contrast, men do not consider themselves to be 'in a relationship' until several months of exclusive dating have occurred.
Even when he's dating one woman, a man will be surprised when his counterpart suggests the relationship is exclusive. Why is that so?
Again it comes back to the fact that men tend to spend less time plotting and planning the course of their lives in terms of relationship while the women keeps thinking on how to make it work. Men do not define their lives (as much) by where things seem to be going in the relationship.
For a man to reach the point where he desires a committed relationship, something very important must first occurr. He must experience an intense emotional attraction that causes him feel less alive when he is not in your presence.
I'll deal with five key emotional attractions for tonight.
BE IRRESISTIBLE.
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Been irresistible is beyond looks... The kind of woman who relies on them of survival (emotional,financially,physically and otherwise) A man wants his woman to depend on him without been paralyzed herself.
He wants to be her hero not her oxygen. There is a balance in this thing called relationship. A man wants his Woman to be his oasis, but not drain him with her neediness.
You can be the greatest influence to your man's life therefore should use your influence well.
Neediness for everything is poison to his soul.
He wants you to demand not to suck him dry. In as much as you check what you wear and eat so to keep fit and lovely, he wants a sister, friend, partner and a huge support. Most importantly, he wants a depending independent woman.
You'll soon become an option as you keep requesting for everything you want. Allow him feel your space in asking, he'll crave to satisfy your needs.
BE COMPLEMENTING
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Research shows that men have the most terrible flaws and it's made by design we cannot do anything about it.
He wants a lady who will bring strength to the relationship that he doesn't possess. He's like a child wanting too much in one second and before he could trust you won't harm him takes longer than what you think. That's why you find him always wanting to know if you love him enough. That's not insecurity, it's the design their made off.
He can only desire a commitment if she's a help to him, someone who will work/walk with him and not against him. A WOMAN WHO WILL BE ONE WITH HIM YET HAVE AN IDENTITY OF HER OWN That INTENSE emotional attraction is built when he sees a lady who's a brand on her own and an assest to him.
When he needs to be with the guys he's expecting you to be with the ladies and not nag over his constant hangouts.
Despite his need to be needed ladies, the burden to be his woman's everything is too much for him to carry. If he was your everything, you won't be needing God and God will never allow that. He wants you to have your life enriched by him but not wholly dependant on him.
This brings us to number 3
WHO ARE YOU APART FROM YOUR MAN?
It's pathetic that if I remove your man from your life you'll be as empty as a drum. Yet alot of us have totally allow ourselves to be defined by the entitlements of our man. There's nothing enticing about your profile.
Any man will love to come into your beautiful outlook but won't stay for a long term if your personality doesn't compliment his...only if it's designed to be so.
NOTE THAT: one of the greatest gifts you can give your man is room enough so that he can be who he is not what you want him to be. So get a personality first before praying a man into your life.
BE SUCCESSFUL!
Titi is afraid to get rich because she seriously feels she won't get married and I'm like 'can you have some brain?'
Many ladies said that men are intimidated by successful women, but most of the men I interviewed denied this. Perhaps I Need to emphasize that I am not talking about "BOYS" but "MEN".
As our topic evolved around strong, independent and successful women, the bottom line is Most men wanted a woman they wouldn't need to worry about should anything happen to them
They didn't want a helpless woman who wouldn't be able to take care of herself and their family: they like the idea of being able to brag about the achievements of their women in public.
However, when a woman begins to take her achievement more seriously than her man or keep reminding him successful she's becoming without his help, she's no longer seen as 'successful' buy 'boastful' and very soon he'll leave you for another woman even though you're doing other stuffs right.
Refuse the ME ME ME and try to embibe the US US US. At the end of the day it's not what we do but who we are.
Lastly Sweethearts
CHEATING.
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I was amazed to hear someone saying it's no longer called cheating but playing smart and saving her heart from heart breaks. And I pitied her grately.
How on earth can you think it's proper to share an emotional attraction for two people and believe one will definitely work out well?
See sweethearts, in relationships it's not about what you want or who you are, it's about how you make the other person feel.
This is the first law of selflessness. Putting how you make the other person feel about the relationship first-hand (That's why relationships are not for babies) until we're willing to empty ourselves for another- and then do it- we will not experience complete fulfilment in our relationships.
When he begins to feel insecure because of your numerous male friends calls and texts, you're leaving him with no choice than walking away. Men love to be taken seriously, so as much as you love been around the guys, do well to properly define your relationship with them.
I mean PROPERLY DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR MALE FRIENDS
Do not count your man to understand they are your friends, he's not a robot sister, he needs to feel in charge.
He wants to be place on the top of them all. He wants to be the camp. Whether you're cheating or not, once you give attention to your male friends more than him, you're simply telling him to take the back seat.
@gwenflorida
This is a remarkable write up. I usually dont read relationship posts on steemit however i just felt there was more to a 1289 word count post. This is truly rich. I like your point of view perhaps you are very experienced in this field.
Thank you Gwen
Dante is here No fearCheers
Now I'm blushing 😍😍😍😍
You have your way with words right?
Wow! Thank you, I am so glad I could make you glue your eyes to this. Bravo!
This piece explains alot😣..I really can relate to this your question _Have you ever been with a man who seem to really like you, only to begin distancing himself and saying he really wasn't ready for a commitment?...
In quest for answer i ended up making a post on toxic relationship....i'd really work on my emotional attraction..Thanks.
Amazing! I'm happy I could motivate you to work of your emotions and write a post too... Bless you dear.
Wow, a job weldone here.
Thank you, learnt a lot.
Guys and their weird ways...
And that sis... how will you say cheating is playing smart. Lolss.
Ok.
Hehehehe
I'm happy I could serve you. Thanks so much dear ❤❤❤❤❤
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