Yesterday day I got to see the man in the purple Kilt look sexier then ever. You all that is my heart, my soul, my crush MJG. I have talked about him in several posts. Now you all can know what he looks like. My thanks to my friend Natalie for giving me a copy of this picture. You all don't know how I feel about him. I am so afraid that by telling him how I feel, I will get rejected. That is my biggest fear. Being rejected by him is my greatest fear. I guess it all goes back not only to my being sexually abused as a child but various blood family members telling my that no one would want me. No person would be willing to put up with my flaws. No one would be willing to deal with my mental issues. I actually denied to myself for 3 months that I was attracted to him. I was afraid to feeling anything after all I went through with JM. You all don't know how badly I want to look him in the eyes and tell him how I really feel. It's just the damn fear of rejection I can seem to get past to do it. Anyone got any ideas as to how I can get past the fear and tell him? I will say that DAMN he was looking so good yesterday. I was lost in thoughts of how good he was looking yesterday. I actually imagined him looking that good if we were to get married. I just wish that I could tell him without that fear of rejection nagging at me. I had better log off of here as I am about ready to cry. Till we meet again.
