I will love you until the stars go out, and the tides no longer turn. Just in case you didn’t get it, the quote simply means that you will never stop loving your partner. Is it possible to love someone till the last breathe?
I grew up believing that love between 2 mortals will never last and never allowed myself to fall in love. I guess it was a way to protect myself from getting my heart broken. I had been putting myself in this bubble of protection for many years and constantly fear that someone will come into my life and burst the bubble. Eventually, I also build up a wall of defense around my bubble.
Many of you maybe wondering now? What happened? Why the bubble? Why the wall?
I grew up in a fairly dysfunctional family with constant arguments, fights, shouting and screaming in the house. And all these negativity fed into me that I became scared to fall in love. I love and enjoy reading romantic novels and wonder if i will ever be heads over heels for someone but the inner part of me always pushes that thought away.
In case you are curious about my dating experience, I did dated but there wasn't love involved at least from my side. None of them lasted and eventually I asked myself "why none of the relationship last?". A friend of mine send me a link through whatsapp and stated that he feels that i need to read this. It was an article about the 5 love languages.
What is the 5 love languages?
Receiving gifts
Quality time
Words of affirmation
Acts of service
Physical touch
I will not elaborate on the 5 love languages, if you are interested to understand more; refer to this link
https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/communication-and-conflict/learn-to-speak-your-spouses-love-language/understanding-the-five-love-languages
After reading the following article, I then realized I was the main cause that the relationship did not work out. Slowly I prayed silently within myself and asked God to teach me how to love, to burst the bubble and tear down the walls that I have built over the years.
Within weeks, I have gotten my walls down however, I am still in my bubble. What took years to build has been torn down within weeks; I am wondering what will happened in a few more weeks time. What used to be years of pain is in the process of healing within weeks being open to love. Of cos the walls are not entirely down yet but only time can take over from here.
I do urged you readers to never give in to bitterness and dwell in it like I did. You will miss a whole new world out there being stuck in your little bubble. Slowly walk out from it. I am taking my time and I hope that you too will choose to walk out from bitterness.
Till the next post,
Nastaasiah