The Master's wisdom # 11 – How to know if we are in the right relationship

in #love7 years ago

If you need to 'work on your relationship' then the person you are with is not your ultimate lover

surreal-2094510_1920.jpg

credit: pixabay


Psychologists and marriage counselors tell us that "relationship is something we should work hard on". That if we want to be happy with our spouse then we need to break the routine, to keep the finger on the pulse, and as a rule to always be alert, and put effort into our love life.

Not really.

Such convention is coming from the old world, the rational mind which is trained so well to find what is not working and then to come up with methods and systems and ways to fix it.

When you are ready you will meet someone who is ready too, and you two will have a relationship that is harmonious, flowing, balanced; in one word – appropriate. It will "work out" itself, naturally, not because you will need to "work on it", but because who you two are!

So what to do if you find yourself in a troubling relationship, one that is full of drama, or boredom? Keep on doing your inner work on yourself. It's not a work, it's allowing your spiritual growth, the change that naturally happens. And when you change one of two will happen: your spouse will change too, naturally and effortlessly, or you two will no longer fit each other and separate in your own ways.

This is how the universe works. In an effortless way to create happiness to all its beloved creatures.
Sort:  

Human beings are created with a hunger to live in a right relationship with God. Until we experience this relationship there is always a spiritual hunger that is unsatisfied. When we come into a right relationship with God we find the purpose and meaning of our lives.

I'll have to disagree
Why is the divorce rate more in Western countries if there are mostly love marriages, then what happens.Because they are not willing to work for their love when the going gets difficult.
It's not always going to be passionate like the first day or the first month or even year, there comes a point when we'll have to work for it.

Why?
People get married too early with the wrong expectations. They think their spouse will be their savor and when that doesn't happen they look for another savor instead of changing their expectations.

Agreed, but that's one cause.
I still hink we need to give each other a chance, there are times things won't click perfectly, that's the time you need to hold on. But we're living in completely different worlds and have different ways to live life.

Once in a relationship harmony should not need to be created, it should just exist naturally between the partners. Thats what one defenition of a true relationship can be... The love is not created it just happens and wait your life to see that happen, just don't fall into relationship with an idea that love will be created.

You're completely opposing your culture, mate :)

all this leads me to think that I've never been in the right relationship, I've always had to work hard to keep the magic going... so that must come out on its own? At my age, I doubt I'll get that harmony.

You have always been in the right relstiondhips because all of them have led you to this point. So the question now is,

now that you know differently what are you going to do? What are you going to choose?

The first thing is to read more of his blog, there are surely more tools, thank you

When there is unconditional trust, the relationship is not only right but PERFECT.
And when both persons are consenting to put gigantic efforts to prevail each and every problem no matter what circumstances occurs.

Someone working in a relationship that can be said a good relationship still in the opinion of those around me it is not good to relate if a woman is working as well, because it can be the same there will be events that are not in want that is broken in our relationship and berakibal fatal, and that's a lot going on in our lives.

The wedding is a full responsibility for maintaining harmony in the relation mutually understand each other, and a couple that are not easily bored is a genuine love mate.

When relationship will enhance our life, not complicated our life , in this time the relationship is right for us..

Absolutely.. Um with a belief that if one is prepared in his love life, he will get a partner who is ready too...if there is no love, then both the partners contribute to their situation which they are having in their love life.. I mean Both.. Not only one..

Your relationship should not definitely be hard to work on. It’s shouldnt be you job. Your job is 8-4 only. And I love your point when you say “if he works on his issues, she will do the same”. You should be in relationship with person who makes you feel safe, who cares for you. There are always ups and downs, let’s admit it. Who can’t get through these ups and downs should definitely start working on himself.

Upvoted, resteemed and followed because this one hit home! This is what I believe in. Love should be effortless and it is not about fixing ourselves and 'work hard' to make love 'work'. I tried to make my ex partner understand this and unfortunately he couldn't and tried to mould me into the person that he wanted me to be. I was constantly blamed of not putting effort and work into the relationship although I did everything he asked for the sake of his happiness at the expense of mine. The relationship with the right person will be nurtured and evolve naturally.

Exactly!
Until you realized you would not be able to change him or make him understand.

That is right! I realized that and now we are in our separate ways.

Dear @nomad-magus you are right to say that the relationship based on the agreement of both the sides (means man and woman searching for true love) is a perfect relation. It is very much true and also reliable statement because when anyone wants to love and to be loved he/she get the desired person.
In love relationship you have to compromise on little things and respect the spouse.
But on another hand if they tune on some misunderstandings than the relationship based on love is easy to break up. So both the situations are possible.

there is no way to find, all you gotta to is, keep believing, trust each other and keep faith, Finding someone you can really connect with is like winning the lottery.

Except with love it's all up to you 🙂
Chance has nothing to do with it.

there are certain things, which are out of our bonds, if chance has nothing to do with it, then i can also say that man has nothing to do with it, some things goes unsaid, sometimes we just need to let our life control ourselves, just sit back and watch, enjoy, thats what we need to do.

You are wise to say that man has nothing to do with it. It's our spirit that sets the course of our life. Those who think they have free will, delude themselves.
And that's, my friend, is actually very good news.

exactly ♥. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.

When our spouses change, look at this as a process, as long as the change does not concern the principle of the thing. If being distracted, talk with your partner. As long as we can keep up with those changes then the problem never happened. But it would be a different story if one can't accept those changes.

Yes @nomad-magus it is right that that unlike old times, there is better understanding between the partners but at the same time we cant deny the fact that the balance between the partners is not balanced everytime... People changes with time and so the behaviour...

this is very good writing,
I can take from the experience of your love story,
harmony must be on guard every couple to always be together,
thanks for sharing

In my opinion we are living in an real world where our imaginative thoughts will not going to help means we imagine as everything will fall on the place, no, it will not happen like that. Relationships need spiritual travel and path and an relationship has to stay in the house of understanding and true understanding will be developed through real spiritual connection, then your life will be fulfilled but every relationship will have ups and downs because nothing is constant in this life. Thanks for sharing and wishing you an great day. Stay blessed. 🙂

when we fall in love we must be ready to accept hurt,
because a relationship is always a rift if we can get through it we will get a great happiness in a relationship,
bitter, sweet we must bear if we want to pair

Sometimes holding on hurts more than letting go, wonderful piece of an article my friend, it's a bit short for my taste as I love to read posts with a lesson, with a message, with something important. Thank you anyway!

If he is my ultimate lover! Then I not need have to work with the relation. To keep my relationship intact, then i have be a great man. Do not take anything else.

we don't find our relation, we trying find to ultimate man, That's why we are can't find our relation.

great sharing...upvote and resteem :)

Nice post, Thanks for sharing

true times @ nomad-mag
our soul mate emang come alone to us right

Definitely, we make a true relationship just fil with the true love of the heart. A true elatiOnship when you can tell each other anything and everything No 'secret' and No 'lies'. And also a true relatiOnship is when someOne accept you past, supports yOur parents and encouraged your future. When we're feeling anything wrong with relation, just we talk each other and solve the problm.

I think all relationships need efforts. Efforts are necessary to make a relationship work and last. They should respect each other's differences and encourage each other.

You are in a right relationship when you can adjust. In my opinion a relationship is all about adjustment, and the willingness to give your all to your partner.

the post is very interesting and useful for me personally.

i think that is a good post to share, we could learn about something about relation.

thanks was share to us

The relationship that develops very quickly, does not take time to reduce heat

When you r in Love its like sadness feelings comes even in a hppy moments

我是谁? 她是谁?你又是谁?

very nice tnx for shereing

Relationship isnt always right, except if its between parents and us, other relationships demands adjustments,compromise and nourishment.

You are a very good man and you know exactly what you are doing, nice to want to share your work with others.

give your heart to the universe, and the universe will give your heart to you

Mental illness is the problem, and an expensive one.

when u give them the same as much as they give u... kinda reciprocating ... kinda thing

When the universe says

 7 years ago  Reveal Comment