A friend of mine once called me to ask for some relationship advice. She'd been dating her boyfriend for nearly 3 years. This were going well until recently. She says that every time she tries to talk to him, he barely listens to what she has to say. He bails on their dates and complains when she tries to plan a nice night for them. He doesn't respond to her messages until much later, but when they're together he's always on his phone.
After we spoke I asked her if she'd brought any of this up to her boyfriend. She said no, mostly because she didn't want to have another fight with him. I reminded her that people aren't psychic, and sometimes its hard to see that you're doing something wrong until someone tells you. Communication is the bread and butter of relationships. If two people cannot communicate their feelings or their thoughts, the relationship won't survive. I explained to her that perhaps if she shared her concerns with him things might change.
A week later my friend calls me. She told me that she had told her boyfriend everything that she was feeling. Her boyfriend was shocked -- mostly because he hadn't realized that some of the things he was doing was upsetting her. He thought he was acting like he normally did. My friend was relieved that things were going well. They agreed to work on things together and talk more frequently with one another.
It's been a while since this situation happened. My friend and her boyfriend just announced their engagement! I sometimes wonder how things would've turned out if they kept their thoughts and feelings bottled up instead of sharing them. But seeing them this happy makes me forget about these thoughts. I hope that the continue to be happy even after marriage!
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