Society dictates that once you finished school, you get a job. Once you have a stable job, you marry your girlfriend or boyfriend. Once you have enough savings, you make babies. Then send them to school. You retire, then you'll have grandkids. Then your grandkids will copy the cycle. Don't you find that boring? Coz I do.
You see, people expect us to follow the norm. If you reach mid twenties and you're still single, people who are close to you would say, "Get fuckin' married! You're not getting any younger!" If you don't, then they will think there's something wrong with you. Or that you're never gonna be happy. Oh really now? Is tying the knot really gonna make me happy?
Why is it so many married couples I know are getting annulled or divorce? Let's take a look at the current divorce rate in the United States... According to National Survey of Family Growth representatives, 50% of marriages ended up in nasty divorce. That's a big number right there. 50 freakin' percent!
Have you seen this documentary about the US billion dollar divorce industry? Watch this:
There are one million divorces in the United States every year—that's one every 36 seconds, nearly 2,400 per day, and 16,800 per week. It's hardly surprising, then, that the divorce industry is worth a whopping $50 billion annually—that's a hell of lot of heartbreak.
After seeing that film, I realized something. Getting married is what most people want because the society and the media thinks it's the right thing to do if you think you found the "one". You tie the knot and make them your other half. My other what?! Ya know, "whatever is yours is mine, baby." Then it will always end up in heartbreak.
In 3 weeks, my older sister is getting married. All this wedding preparations happening in the house is kinda annoying me. They look so pressured looking for a catering service, photo & video service, etc. I don't need that kind of stress in my life. I don't want to spend almost a million pesos just for 1 day. I'd rather use the money to travel the world. Yeah!!! I'm gonna continue being a digital nomad ninja! :-)
2 years ago, my American cousin filed a divorced. But last week, she got engaged to her new boyfriend. This is gonna be her second marriage. I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm happy if she's happy. My best friend and her boyfriend have plans getting married this September at the city hall. That's practical because all they have to do is sign a piece of paper.
A piece of paper... That's how I describe marriage. I don't need it to prove my love for someone. My boyfriend and I share the same sentiment. We'd rather use the (supposed to be wedding) money to build passive income businesses and travel a lot. Learn different cultures, explore and do exciting adventures. We don't need to get married to do that right?!
They say if you want to be happy, you have to follow your passion. Traveling is our passion so that's what we're gonna do together. I can't imagine doing anything else but that. We will do it as long as we live, even if we become old farts. We will travel for as long as we can. And we don't need a piece of paper for that.
I was on the fence until I found out that some Americans are forbidden from marriage (because they are on probation for a crime). The idea that a government can decide whether or not two people can enter a contract of love is completely absurd. Unfortunately, it is not new, because the same government denied the 'right of marriage' to slaves for like 200 years. I applaud those who do it (and stay in it) but for me, it's a complete joke and waste of resources. Great post!
Wow I didn't know that the government can control that lol. That's insane!
I like your comment. I also applaud those who do it and stay in it.
But I will never change my mind about what I think about it. Some people get married for convenience like land title, visa, and shit. lol! It's a crazy world!
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Amennnnnnnnn I couldn't agree more with you.
Just have to find a fellow soul that understands that as well :)
Namaste
Yup, I know a few of people who share the same opinion like mine. Usually, they belong to a broken family.
Namaste! :)
Ayyyy interesting how that works :)
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What can I say, I agree. But you never know what will happen...
Here in The Netherlands the pressure is much less. It's less traditional compared to The PH. And less people are getting maried.
Nevertheless i think its so cool, if a couple is together for 50 years..
Good post
Yeah that's the dogma and people follow it. What happened to freewill? I don't understand why people care so much about what the society will thinks if you chose to not to be married.
Of course it's nice to be in a long lasting relationship and I plan to grow old with my partner without the papers.
Thanks for reading! :-)
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I accept! Hi Eric, I'm glad you liked my article. :-)
no it's not
the contract is but not the whole marriage thing
specially if its bound by love IMHO it's pretty sacred
it's a life time of making a relationship work out, last, stay happy and most of all a forever in the making :)
edit : marrying the right person would still allow you to go after doing what you love the most and not on your own specially if the person you're married with has the same mindset
it's not for everyone and it doesn't have to be a priority
but if you find the right person to marry then your marriage won't just be a piece of paper
it's the best dance you could ever bust'a move with that betterhalf you got :)
exactly what I was going to say :)
That's a big BUT right there. I admire those people who did get married and stay to it. I'm just saying that it's not for everyone. :-)
yes, I used to not ever want to get married, too but that's cause I was in a wrong relationship plus I had that - "wrong mindset", too so every thing went wrong and you sort'a lose the faith in "4ever" but I found my hubby and he's helped me change my mindset and everything started to fall into pieces so when he asked me to marry him - mabilis pa sa alas kwatro napa yes
but .. like you I won't recommend rushing it
it's not for everyone indeed and that's okay ;)
to each his own
Are you pinay? :-)
I was blown away when you said, "mabilis pa sa alas kwatro napa yes". Haha! :-)
Yeah probably I have the wrong mindset. My partner and I share the same sentiment of not tying the knots but we plan to be together forever. :-)
am I Pinay .. I'm from Venus .. etsus hahah
so if I'm from Venus what does that make me earthling?
only you know what kind of mindset you edit : have
at merong forever kasal o hindi napatunayan na yan ng maraming Norweigian :)
Hahaha, my sisters are older than you and they don't even think marriage. Life is deeper than those things!
I completely agree. We can love anyone without getting a piece of paper right? Like how you love your family and your friends. Love is all we need! ❤
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Oh an example is this..they were together for more than 10 yrs, got married then divorced after a few months.
True to life story..i swear!
What?! That's fuckin' crazy! Huhu! Stories like that are sad, that's why it's best to get to know the person first and see how it goes. 10 years was long enough to know someone. I wonder what's the reason behind their divorce? Maybe they got tired from each other? lol!
Anyhoo, have a great week ahead madamme! :-)
Well..another couple just got married after 7 yrs together so we wait and see..
Hahaha! The countdown begins! :-D
You're the coolest. I dig your mentality, and I have given you a follow ;) I wish you many amazing, happy years with your husband. You guys will do great.
Talk soon.
husband?! lol! like i said on the article, i'm not getting married, ever.
you're also one of the coolest guys i met here on steemit. i followed you too. hopefully @sweetjsss will upvote my posts like she did on all your posts. lol!
Thanks a lot sister ;) You pretty cool yourself.
I can say the same about you and @surpassinggoogle! LOL!
And my bad, I like that mentality though. I have the same idea. Marriage is legit just a court case :D Absolutely no need for it. It's a bondage of assets (in many cases) if anything, LOL.
Talk soon.
Told ya you're my male version! Great minds think alike!
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I will probably get married for convenience, and I don't mean that it won't be with someone I love. I agree with you 100%. But if it can shut up two families and help any future children avoid being made fun of or having other difficulties, I can sign a piece of paper. That does not mean I have any romantic notions about this archaic practice. I haven't seen this documentary but I'm not surprised that marriage an divorce is now just a money making scheme, that is so consistent with so many things in society.
Your posts keep getting better and better!
Haha! You like this post coz you like philosophy topics. I rarely write stuff like this but since I got tired of writing about travel and fitness, I decided to share some of my beliefs so my followers on Steemit will get to know me better. This is me, being open. I planned not to write too much personal stuff but your blog provoked me. You are my inspiration. :-)
Awww! That's the one of the big reasons why people get divorce. Marrying for the sake of others then at the end, it won't work out coz of irreconcilable differences.
But I salute you for being so selfless for the sake of the kid. Afterall, we'll do anything for the ones we love especially since he/she is your kid. :-)
I don't think it's the same, I'm not scared of anything, we aren't bending to their demands, we are just throwing them a bone so they have some idea to play with, give them some false sense of security because we can't expect them to be true adults just because they are older. Let them feel like they're kids are normal. I belief in life partners so marraige shouldn't be that hard for me as long as it's just a piece of paper to me. Trust me, I'm not gonna marry someone to try and solve some differences with my partner.
It's kind of like how I want to live in a world without money, it's easier for me to create this world if I go and join in the crappy old money world and teach them how to do it better so they can slowly start to understand.
I 100% agree on you this. I might change my mind in the future. When I become older, my outlook might change, who knows.
I'm doing better and better on my Spanish lesson btw. I met a Spanish guy yesterday and he was laughing coz I used some simple words on him. I gotta practice more though. Happy weekend Danny! :-)