There are 11 different statuses listed on Facebook for your relationship status. I'm amazed at this. As a marriage officer, I need to make very sure what someone's legal status is in this regard before I marry them. The possibilities are less in this regard but it makes sense that throughout our lifetimes our relationship status can be many different things as life happens.
There is only one relationship status with which I have a problem. And yes, the title of this post gives it away. It is complicated! I think we should remove this as a possibility for a relationship status. From Facebook. From the language we use nowadays. From our thinking. There are two major reasons I think this.
1. It should not be complicated
Mostly when people tell me their relationship status is complicated, it is because of some uncertainty. One or both parties are unclear about the other person's level of commitment. Or even their own commitment. They might be divided between two people. There might even be a secret third party. It's complicated as a relationship status almost always points to a negative.
My advice is simply this: Simplify things immediately. Make a choice. Give your commitment fully. Ask where you stand until you know. Or change your status to single. This may sound harsh but life is too short to invest in complicated relationships. Know where you stand or say no!
2. It is complicated enough
It is the most difficult challenge but also the most rewarding thing that you will ever do. No one has an easy relationship that is just smooth sailing. The Hollywood type meant-to-be-therefore-it-works relationship does not exist. Every relationship is hard work and asks of you all of your focus and energy. There is no exception. Never has been. Never will be. Simple, clear-cut, fully committed relationships are complicated. There is no need to add any complications. In fact, any added complications is a killer.
My advice is the old and well-known acronym KISS. Keep It Simple & Straight. Relationships are complicated enough all on their own.
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I just checked to confirm as I don't really use my old FB account. There really was 11
I think they are all good except for "It's complicated". It has practically become sort of a memetic and people (mostly millennials) have come to accep it as normal. FB should have simply gone for a "Prefer Not To Say" option. People would have at least tried some introspection that way.
It is very important to be as clear and transparent as possible in a relationship to keep it strong.
I do not use much social networks and I would never use "it is complicated". I would rather make that value private.
People's time is limited,
And the network is unlimited,
So on the internet,
People have too many roads, too many doors, too many changes.
Some great advice my friend. I never really know what people mean by that either. Perhaps they just don't want to share..?
....
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A very real possibility indeed @felt.buzz. Thank you for participating.
@reonlouw,
I couldn't agree with you more.
"It's complicated" is a symptom of our, "Have your cake and eat it too," culture. We want the upsides but not the downsides. We don't want to have to pay a price or make a sacrifice. It's a immature and childish way of approaching life.
Quill
Nothing else to add, you said it perfectly.😊
I treasure the compliment @starjewel
I prefer if there were only two options.
Available / Not availible
or
Single / Not Single
People feel the need to give out too much info online.
Ah, I like not complicated and what you said in point 2 is a great confirmation that choosing to be single was and still is actually the best decision I made 4 years ago. Complicated to me = drama & hard work and me no likey drama or hard work haha. Life's hard enough :)
Thanks for the post!
I respect your choice @nickyhavey and stand somewhat in awe of it. As hard work as marriage has been, I struggle to imagine the alternative. Obviously, your choice worked for you as mine did for me.
Ha, there's a saying like which is a pretty simple one - "Horses for courses". Basically means each race horse has its preferred course and feels stronger in one arena than others. I'm glad it has worked well for you and anyone else who is happy with their choice.
People normally use “it is complicated because they are not really into the current relationship or are flirting.
It is very good to be true and fair cause no one knows tomorrow.
Wow, it's been so long since I have looked at FB relationship settings so I had forgotten how many different options there are. I think everyone else on the comment thread had some really good points. A basic idea of your status seems fine to me, but when you starting blasting out the dirty laundry of your "complicated" relationship it gets to be a bit much in my opinion. I think the people I have seen in the past who check that box spend more time sharing on social media instead of working on their actual relationships.
Interesting take on that status option! I'm wondering if it might be a more PC selection than "multiple" which isn't one of the options!
the reason why I love to stay here, lots of good things to learn and be refreshed...."keep it simple and straight"...love it
Hahah I never even thought about that :D But I guess cuz it's your profession, you kinda have to. I think that option is motly used by teenagers who just got over their first summer love or? :D Altho it's true that there's no reason to make things more complicated as they are.
But on the other side, it might eeven help those teens to create their first tough situation. Girl is missing a boy whom she met during summer holiday so she uses "it's complicated" on FB. Month passes and she changes it to single. Now she's exxperienced. She already got over one tough situation. It might make things more complicated for people who use it, but I believe most of the people who use it actually DO NEED to make it more complicated. As a part of their evolution/education/growing up and getting to know themselves :D Or? Just my piece of insight tho :)
I think that "It's complicated!" isn't a true status. It's more like a fake status to say "I don't want to talk about it", or something like that. Maybe it should be proposed in an other way. But as you said "It's comlicated enough", it's normal for a relationship to be complicated sometime.
It really is complicated. But as I said, the way is to make it as simple as possible. And there is no other easier way, the secret is in words, in dialogue. Most of the time people suffer alone, in imaginary ideals, which are often neither real. Human relations are difficult, and only the way of dialogue can make it easier. A relationship without dialogue is not a relationship. At least my opinion! Thanks!
Yes! I agree @matheusggr.
Well said!
Thanks! Have a nice day! :)
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