Couple of days back, I saw on a friend's statues what looked like a picture carrying a caption that read; 'Who is to Blame ; Herself, The Husband, The Side Chick or The Family?' and this made me so curious. As I settled in to look at the picture one more time, I realized it was about a 2018 movie called ACRIMONY and I knew I had to watch this movie to get to answer that question because I knew it had to do with something pertaining to love and life.
Interestingly, I watched it over this last weekend and it was such a touching movie. If you aren't the emotional type, there's no way you would watch that movie and not shed a tear. As I watched, I remembered the question of who was to blame, trying hard to make sure I got to pick out who really was to blame in the sad events that occurred to Melinda. I am not so much of a film critic but when it comes to movies like this that tends to portray what Love is, and leaves a mark on hearts of people, I believe I should drop my own thoughts on it.
There are quite some good lessons one can derive from the movie, no doubt but if I were to answer the question, I'd say I blame Melinda,for making wrong decisions right from the very beginning. And of course, everyone else has their own share of the blame game but then, it was her decision that eventually led to the choices she made.
Lessons from 'Herself'
1)I understand she was still young and immature when she was in college but that doesn't exclude the fact that she could have had some sense not to let the so called love get into her head which led her to give away all that was left to her by her later mother to Robert. She was too young to know what Love really was and she allowed her emotions get the best of her.
Always Remember::Having a relationship at that age(16-26) isn't always the best, because they rarely know anything about love and relationships. Many confuse lust for love. Anything that wants an instant gratification isn't connected to love for love is patient. Instead, go for knowledge and add value to yourself. Don't be too hasty about the matters of the heart so that you don't regret your actions when you come of sense and maturity.
2) Melinda stood my her husband all through the years they were married, paying the sacrifice of having even having two jobs just to keep them both and cater for their needs despite her Husband's joblessness for 18 years. She had come thus far, with all that she had sacrificed for Robert and let the pressures, both from poor finances, to wrong notion of infidelity to pressure from her sisters, pushed her make the mistake of calling for a divorce which led to series of regrets for Melinda.
Always Remember: Marriage is for better for worse. Nothing is worth costing your marriage except when one's life is at risk. Don't make a lifetime decision on present life's situation because no condition is permanent. Don't let anyone destroy your home, as a woman it's your sole responsibility to make it flourish and prosper at all cost.
3)Melinda lost her life at the end not because she was filled with hate or jealousy or every kind of evil especially towards Robert and his fiancee Diana, but majorly because she didn't forgive herself for the mistake she made by loosing hope on her husband and their marriage which made her vulnerable to tragedy.
Always Remember: As you make your bed, so you lie on it. Melinda could have chosen to let bygones be bygones. She could have forgiven herself as well as Robert, hoped for a better life for herself and if she really loved him, she would have allowed his relationship with Diana to be.Dont ever force yourself on anyone, let them see value and come for you.
Lessons from 'Him'
1)Robert's character was to me quite annoying. Really, who takes advantage of a young lady who just lost her mother? That didn't speak well of him and I wasn't surprised of how he continually leeched on Melinda's fortune that her mother left her. It showed weakness of character, responsibility and to crown that up, flimsy excuses which had it's twin brother, laziness around. But then, he believed he was at the top of his game despite all the negative talks around him.
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Always Remember: Never stop believing in yourself and never keep pressing on. It's not over till its over. Robert kept telling Melinda that he would get her a diamond ring, the apartment as well as a yacht in her name. Even though it wasn't Melinda that finally got it at the end, the truth is it actually came. What you keep speaking of or calling will surely come to you.
Lessons from the 'Family'
Melinda blamed her sisters for pushing her to make the biggest mistake of her life because they never minded their business and wanted to control her life. I know they'll say they did all that because they loved her and wanted the best for her but at the end of the day, they caused her problems.
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Always Remember: Mind your own business and don't get involved in people's life matters. If you love them so much, rather than tell them what to do, you can make suggestions and leave them to make their own decisions. More importantly, you can pray for them and hope the best for them.
Lessons from the 'Sidechick'
Well, I really do not see any good lesson from Diana's character except she was persistent and took advantage of Robert's vulnerable condition after his divorce. She was there, opened her doors to him and believed in him. Also, I'd say this, please don't be the reason for another's unhappiness. If she was a good person, she would have let him go back to his wife knowing fully well of how Robert loved Melinda.
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Okay people, here are my thoughts about the movie, ACRIMONY. Perhaps I might have left out one or two lessons or maybe you don't agree with all I have said. I'd like you to engage me, let's have some more lessons, agreements and disagreements from this psychological thriller of a movie.
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Do you know all through the time Robert was building that battery, Melinda never had the belief in it.
That shows she was just spending cos she was in love with him and not really his future/dreams.
I don't like the blame game, cos it could have been anyone's fault.
Hmmm, you might be right there about Melinda not believing in his dreams. Well, may we not be wandering when it's time to enjoy our labour. Thanks dear @mediahousent
Olori Adura ni yen o mama. Amin!
Uwc ma
The lessons in the movie cut across all levels of relationship from marriage, courtship, dating and so on. If you truly want to pick a lesson or two from the movie, you must not be sentimental or take a side in your judgement.
I always advice that couples should watch this movie together if they really want to maximize the lessons in it. You cannot fully pass the message to the other party by narrating the movie. In my own opinion, the movie address things we take for granted in relationships starting from
Kudos to Tyler Perry for this Blockbuster movie.
True sir @kingsolo well myself and hubbie watched it together and it was wow. Yeah kudos to Tyler.
Melinda had grave anger issues and i can say robert might not have gotten that big break if Melinda had not thrown him out. Worse case, melinda would have taken him back and he would have been pressured to take the 800 grand.
Robert has always been a user, i mean who says jobless and let his wife work and bring food to the table. And the nerve of him to buy the same things he promised melinda for diana, that's just not thoughtful...anybody would have gone mad from that sef.
I really do not blame her family, they were looking out for her.
Different thoughts on this and i think tyler perry and taraji henson did beautiful jobs.
Keep steeming,
@soorefunmi
I remember being aggravated in the movie theatre that day. The man was to blame, she gave him everything. Literally everything, and he easily moved on, truth is, he never really loved her, he just fed off her.