I've been working real hard on self-love lately. Loving the flaws, the insecurities, and the positives. They're all hard. Why would I want to love the parts of me that I'm not happy with? And if I am happy with them, isn't it conceited? Certainly a common problem, and one that uncovers deep inner turmoil and embarrassment that we've carried with us for years. Certainly unhealthy, but how do we break the loop? Thought patterns are just habits, which as we all know can be painfully difficult to reverse. With each feeling of "not-enoughness", our subconscious minds reinforce our beliefs that certain areas of ourselves (or just grouping everything together and marking it under "you") are not worthy of love.
Maybe if I was ten pounds lighter, I could be worthy of love. Once I can provide more for my family, I'll be able to love myself. If I can kick that bad habit, I can let love in. Sound familiar, or at least similar to something you've thought? It's sad to realize the stories that we tell ourselves to prevent us from letting our own love in.
Now let's switch the pronouns.
Maybe if she was ten pounds lighter, she could be worthy of love. Once he can provide more for his family, I'll be able to love him. If they can kick that bad habit, my love will be waiting.
You would NEVER think these things about someone else (I hope). If someone is important to you, you love them, despite their flaws, insecurities, or issues. That's why love is so powerful. It transcends the minutia of the negatives, and focuses on the person as a whole. We love our friends, no matter what shape they're in or how much money they make. It's unconditional, and as powerful a force as mankind has ever known.
So then why don't we do the same for ourselves?
This whole post was sparked by a quote I heard the other day:
"How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you."
If you can't love yourself unconditionally, despite the flaws, despite the insecurities, the portrait you paint for others will be incomplete. True works of art take time; months, years even. But I think once you can show people how you're supposed to be loved, the lesson will be plain to see. When one teaches, two learn.
"A Single Seed" is my attempt to get out one idea every day that I've learned or accumulated over the years, with the hope that it may stick in someone else's memory bank as well. The idea may be related to fitness, business, life, or philosophy, but I think you'll find that many can change domains if you wish them to. With each seed planted, a new life awaits.
Image credit: https://www.pikrepo.com/follc/woman-holding-white-ceramic-mug-staring-outside