Marriage in Islam
Marriage is one of the strongest relationships which Islam stresses, encourages and considers as one of the prophets’ practices
Indeed, Islam attaches much importance to marriage rulings, etiquette and the spouses’ rights in such a way as to guarantee marital stability and permanence and create a successful family in which children are brought up enjoying psychological stability, observing devoutness and moral integrity, and displaying excellence in various aspects of life.
How marriage is performed in Islam?
The central event in all American-Muslim Weddings will be the Nikah. This is the actual wedding ceremony, usually officiated by a Muslim cleric, an Imam. Although a Nikah can be done anywhere including the bride's home or reception hall, it is preferable and usually done these days in a mosque.
The following are the requirements of a valid marriage:
The pillars of marriage are three:
- The couple must be free from any legal prevention to their being able to marry one another, like a close relationship or fosterage.
- The woman must have the approval of her guardian.
- There must be an offer and acceptance.
The conditions of marriage are four:
- The presence of the couple
- Their approval
- The presence of the woman’s guardian
- Two male, Muslim witnesses
Marriage Age for Girls
The Noble Prophet (S) has said: "Virgin girls are like fruits on trees. If not plucked in time, the sun will rot them and the wind will disperse them. When girls reach maturity and their sexual instincts arise, like that of women, their only remedy is marriage. If they aren't married, they are prone to moral corruption. It is because they are human beings and human beings are prone to making mistakes."
Ways to Avoid Marrying the Wrong Person
- Do Not Marry Potential
- Choose Character over Chemistry
- Humility * Kindness * Responsibility * Happiness
- Do Not Neglect The Emotional Needs of Your Partner
- Avoid Opposing Life Plans
- Avoid Pre-Marital Sexual/Physical Activity
- Avoid Lack of Emotional Connection
- Pay Attention to Your Own Emotional Anxiety
- Controlling behavior ** Anger issues
- Beware of Lack of Openness In Your Partner
- Beware of Avoiding Personal Responsibility
10)- Watch Out For Lack of Emotional Health and Availability In Your Potential Partner
- Beware of Avoiding Personal Responsibility
Who are the women that a man is forbidden to marry?
These two Ayas are the key source:
وَلَا تَنكِحُوا مَا نَكَحَ آبَاؤُكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاءِ إِلَّا مَا قَدْ سَلَفَ ۚ إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَمَقْتًا وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا
حُرِّمَتْ عَلَيْكُمْ أُمَّهَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُمْ وَعَمَّاتُكُمْ وَخَالَاتُكُمْ وَبَنَاتُ الْأَخِ وَبَنَاتُ الْأُخْتِ وَأُمَّهَاتُكُمُ اللَّاتِي أَرْضَعْنَكُمْ وَأَخَوَاتُكُم مِّنَ الرَّضَاعَةِ وَأُمَّهَاتُ نِسَائِكُمْ وَرَبَائِبُكُمُ اللَّاتِي فِي حُجُورِكُم مِّن نِّسَائِكُمُ اللَّاتِي دَخَلْتُم بِهِنَّ فَإِن لَّمْ تَكُونُوا دَخَلْتُم بِهِنَّ فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ وَحَلَائِلُ أَبْنَائِكُمُ الَّذِينَ مِنْ أَصْلَابِكُمْ وَأَن تَجْمَعُوا بَيْنَ الْأُخْتَيْنِ إِلَّا مَا قَدْ سَلَفَ ۗ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ غَفُورًا رَّحِيمًا
- Mothers: every female ancestor for you no matter how high her level is (note that she might on the side of your father too, for example, your father's mother).
- Daughters: every female descendant of you no matter how low her level is (again, note that she might be on the side of your son, for example, your son's daughter).
- Sisters: every female that share you your father or mather (or both of them).
Aunts: both - Sisters of every male ancestor for you (even on the side of your mother, such as the sister of your mother's father), and
- Sisters of every female ancestor for you (even on the side of your father, such as the sister of your father's mother).
- Nieces: every female descendant of your brothers and sisters, no matter how low her level is (this count 2 out of 7). This completes the list of women prohibited because of blood relationship.
Now if a woman breastfeeds a boy, then she is considered (in marital affairs) as his own mother, and blood-relationship prohibition rules are applied with all of her family. And the husband of this woman at the time she breastfed the boy is considered (in marital affairs) as his own father, and (again) blood-relationship prohibition rules are applied with all of his family.
Also milk sisters are prohibited, they're every female breastfed by your (blood) mother or your mother in law (your father's wife). And she is considered (in maritial affairs) as your own sister.
Question :What does Islam say about falling in love? Is that allowed in Islam? If it is yes, how could we show that to the person we love without causing fitnah?
Answer: Islam teaches us to be truthful and realistic. Usually, we love for the sake of Allah and we hate for the sake of Allah. Islam teaches us that a male and female can build up a good relationship founded on marriage
benefits of Marriage in Islam
1- Obeying the Prophet (PBUH) and carrying out his Sunnah
2- Marriage guarantees physical and spiritual chastity and peace of a person and keeps the couple away from the pitfalls and temptations of the Satan.
3- Through marriage the couples achieve mutual affection, mercy and love.
4- Through marriage the couple will have righteous offspring. It is the survival of generation and it results in obtaining great and good rewards by having righteous children.
5- Marriage is the mean of receiving great rewards for both couples through spending on their children, guarding their chastity, helping them in their problems, protecting them from harms and difficulties and treating them with kindness
6- By marrying and fulfilling the rights of the husband, the believing woman will enter Paradise.
7- By having righteous children, the couples will receive good and great rewards in this world and after their death, because righteous children are ongoing charity.
7 -A righteous wife is the better provision of this world. The Prophet (PBUH) said:
“This world is but provision, and there is no provision in this world better than a righteous wife.” (Muslim 1469).
why Arab girls 'must' get married in their 20s
- So she can start a family
- So she can have a secure future
- "It's the way of life"
- "If you wait till you're older you wont find a husband"
- So you can be a mother
- "They'll think something's wrong with you"
- "All your friends are getting married"
- So, your parents can be reassured regarding your future
- "But he's the perfect husband!"
Here is The Question: Can we ‘date’ in Islam? If not, why not?
One of our current scholars told us, “Dating prepares us – NOT for marriage, but for DIVORCE.
After being “involved” with a person for a time, and then breakiing up and going through the feelings of remorse or loneliness and unhappiness, and then moving on to the next “relationship” and then another break-up, hard feelings, sadness and then yet another series of dating, hanging out, breaking up and so on.
Definitely a married couple who have both been in “relationships” prior to marriage, falling in love, arguing, breaking up and then going through the sad feelings and repeating this over and over, are much more likely to end up in a very rough marriage and very possible divorce.
There is no room in Islam for illicit affairs or the Western vogue-word of boyfriend and girlfriend. All those stories of media and movies are not helpful to make a person comply with the teachings of Islam.
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thanks respected brother @lapb