It's good that your partner has the confidence to tell you these things. I think that's the most important thing of all. We don't know what would have happened if you had acted defensively, maybe it's good to think that it was for the best because it didn't escalate, you got out of the situation well.
It reminds me of a similar situation that happened to me a few years ago, I was with my then partner, a gun was pointed at us and my instinct was to put her behind me. Of course, it was a direct threat. In the end, they were just mistaking me for someone else or it was a practical joke, but it all stayed there until the threat was gone.
I hope you can resolve and balance your energies, however I think you are on the right track.
PS: I will watch the movie Interstellar with my son. He hasn't seen it and that should change.