pooping on shrooms

in #mcdonalds7 years ago

"So I was on shrooms. And weed. And drank a little. Had a GREAT time chillin on some mountains outside, felt like I was in a children's storybook. Anyways, we had to go back to my friends house. I was expecting this to be fine, me my friend and were really close. WELL his friend's little brother (like 17 and I'm 23 at this time) decided to have a high school banger at his house. So were sitting in the living room all fucked up and these teenagers start rolling in at like 7 fucking PM. I kid you not, one "bro" had a stereo on one shoulder and was bangin shitty teen music ready to go harddd.
So I realized I was totally fucking awkward, not on this level and wanted nothing to do with this place. I was like YO WE GOTTA GO to my friend and we peaced the f out. I had to drive bc I was less fucked up. Wasn't too bad because I was on my way down, almost comparable to driving extremely stoned. Problem was, we had no where to go. So my friend has us pull into McDonalds for some food and to kill time. We pull in and he gets in line for food. I stood there for like a minute until I realized I really needed to use the bathroom so I left for the restroom. Man, this was so gross. I had to go the worst way you can. Just gross. Like really gross. Smells and all. I was disgusted that I was even capable of that. But then I was also just like "whatever" and went to flush. Fucker wouldn't flush. IT WOULDN'T flush. No way. Was in there for so long just hoping it would work but damn thing was broken. So I had to leave it like that. Oh.. did I mention this is a one person bathroom? Yeah, awesome.
My friends sitting at a table in full view of the whole place and I sit down buggin saying we gotta go we gotta go. He kept sayin to chill and asking why we had to go. Well, now I have to tell you... I'm a girl. So I didnt want to say to my male friend "oh bc I just took the nastiest shit ever taken and had to leave it sitting there for some poor soul to find bc the toilet was broken." So I said nothing and decided to try to wait it out. Ya.. like two minutes later I notice there's commotion with the employees and all eyes are on me. AHH THEY KNOW! They totally knew. Kept staring and making weird faces at me like "that girl? no really that chick? she's responsible for that? oh damnn." Face was bright red, eyes are bloodshot as hell from all the weed, I was buggin.. so embarrassed and couldn't explain my weirdass behavior to my friend.
We ended up leaving and good news is I'll never see those people again. At the time I wanted to curl in a ball and die. Looking back it is the funniestttt fricken shit ever no pun intended."

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