Learning to love yourself may be one of the hardest things that any of us do.
With the world as it is -- it is infinitely easier to fall into a spiral of self pity -- learning to hate yourself like you've been taught to do.
Yet, the alternative, self acceptance leading to self love -- is immensely valuable.
Imagine knowing, in every moment of every day, that you are enough, that you are loved, more importantly, that you are worthy of being loved!
This is accessible to all of us -- all we have to do is put in the work.
Let's talk about how this came about.
At one point in time during your childhood, someone told you (or expressed to you in one way or another) that you were flawed.
Who did it doesn't matter.
How it happened doesn't matter.
Why it happened ... well that matters a bit.
You know that person that hurt you? (we all do deep down). Well someone hurt them too -- when they saw you living freely that triggered their pain -- somewhere in their mind something said, if I can't feel that kind of love they shouldn't be able to either and voila, you have generational trauma!
Now, I don't want to discredit the pain that you've felt -- I simply want to focus more on resolving it than reliving it.
So we were hurt ... and this hurt lead to trauma (a diminished form of existence that we adopt as a form of self defense).
So ... what do we do about it?
We heal!
A duurrr,, but how my friend?
So, in order to heal we have to create a safe environment where we can address the wound
imagine you were a surgeon, you wouldn't just drop someone in the middle of muddy field and slice them open -- there is a reason that surgeries happen in hospitals
Your healing needs a hospital of it's own.
Maybe it's with your therapist, maybe with your friends, maybe with yourself in nature...
BUt! the important part is that you are in a safe space (physically and emotionally) and you have someone around you (this can be yourself) that is able to offer compassion.
When we experience trauma we build up defenses around these wounds to protect ourself. In order to transcend these we need to let go of the fear of pain (hence creating the safe space) and we need to increase our energy levels so that we can see the pain / trauma from a different perspective (part of letting go).
The reason we need the energy boost / perspective shift is because, the wounds that we adopted can not be healed from the same perspective we had when we adopted them. Ultimately these wounds are energetic constructs, belief patterns (we're not good enough, we're unworthy, etc) that we adopted because, at the time they were presented to us it seemed accurate.
In order to transcend these beliefs we need to boost our energy (not become "hyper", but rather elevate our vibrational frequency). In doing so we shift our perspective and can see the truth about the situation (we are not a victim, we are worthy, we are loved etc). All of these traumas resolve around an un-truth that we have adopted as a truth. Again, to transcend this -- we need to increase our energy frequency and shift our perspective by allowing the possibility of a different belief.
How do we do this?
Here is a great exercise that you can use to shift your energy.
Once in your safe space, take a few deep breathes to relax yourself. Once you are calm, imagine another version of yourself right in front of you. You are now going to practice loving this person. This identical version of yourself, your energetic twin, with all of your positive traits and flaws, is going to be loved by you. In the same way that you would offer compassion to your friend when they are going through a bad day, you are going to practice being loving and compassionate to yourself.
This can be challenging for some as we have trained ourselves that we are not worthy of love -- the simple act of imaging loving oneself can dredge up some hidden traumas that have been lying below the surface ... but that's the point! Ultimately our mind doesn't care whether we believe we are worthy of love or unworthy, it will accept the belief that has the most energy behind it.
So!, as you continue this practice, you will start to reinforce the notion that you
- love yourself
- are worthy of being loved!
That's the great thing about this practice. You can work on both arenas at the same time!
As you continue this practice you will start actually flowing love through yourself -- being worthy of the divine love that is ever present. You will experience more and more love in your meditative state and begin to learn to carry it with you through out the day.
How does this help heal your trauma? Remember, these wounds exist because you took on a belief about yourself that was less than whole, less than perfect, less than divine. As you practice being your beautiful, sparkly, divine self -- these others beliefs will have no space left to exist. As you continue to add energy to your self belief of worthiness and love, the other, lower vibrational beliefs will have less and less energy to support them and they will fade away on their own.
Enjoy!
Rejoice!
Be blessed!
Practice self love and offer compassion to the world!
Nice contents, keep it up ✌️