Last night I sat in Circle. I shared what I felt to be both comfortable and uncomfortable. I listened and I felt connection. Men expressing how they feel, openly and freely, held and secure in a group. Unknown entities gathering for one evening.
I had underestimated the power of my words, of my speech, of my delving deeper and pulling out the stresses, the anxieties, the tiredness, the fire, the fury, the paradox of a lone wolf seeking connection, the deepness of my soul to express and feel and be heard. I deeply underestimated the power to sit and listen. To know what they know, to have felt the same as them, to acknowledge and sit in their beauty. Threads ran through us all - we each faced up to ourselves in that moment and took off our masks to reveal the vulnerabilities and light that shines behind each one of us.
For me as a man, to connect and express was uncomfortable and courageous. This life, this spirit, this physical body with intellect and emotions is one that I am deeply grateful for. We each have a story that bounces and reflects similar insights and experiences of others - yet many of us feel deeply disconnected, alone and insecure. Family traits, deep generational methods and modes permeate who I am. I want to strip it all back, undo all the negatives or at least see them for what they are and find a positive way of responding to them.
The beach fire cast light on our shadows, reflecting our souls to one another we stood shoulder to shoulder and echoed the words of men out into the night.
I feel blessed that I had the opportunity to sit in such a space.
Do you have a similar story?
If these words speak to you know that you can be heard, there are people who will listen, there are people who care deeply for you and love you. We each have the ability to go deeper and connect with others.
I hope this thread finds you well and offers you hope.