I skimmed this last night when I first saw it, but didn't want to comment until I'd had the chance to read it properly. Which I did this morning, as the Grateful Dead sang in my brain, "What a long, strange trip it's been." You might not take the straightest path when telling a story, but you get there in the end, and the journey is all the more interesting for all the extra side paths you take us down.
While I haven't been diagnosed with bipolar (although my daughter's former therapist told her I was, which I found interesting - didn't know you could diagnose someone based on what someone else said..lmao), I've done the chemical merry-go-round for postpartum depression (plus regular old depression) and GAD (with a bit of OCD on the side), so I hear you on the zombie thing. I also have friends who couldn't function without their meds, and I know it's very much a personal decision on how to manage our "unique" brain chemistry.
Glad you found someone who is able to support you - if it weren't for my husband, I can't even imagine how I would've managed. And hope you're having an awesomesauce day!
Well like you said @traciyork > What a long, strange trip it's been.">
It really has been. And as I have tripped many years of. i would not take any of the times away. The times I was in the hospital, the stand off with the cops, prison, jail, any of it. I have hurt many people both directly and indirectly. For that i have felt bad. But it's done and over with. No one can make that crop go away or make it better. It is what it is.
My mood swings could be worse and they could be better. I deal with them as they come. I have deviated from my spirituality for the past several months. And I will be getting back to it.
I feel as tho I have been here before. I have crazy insight to many things, like experience with things I know nothing about. I dunno weird crap.
Just this am my chick and I were talking about me and meds. I kinda feel that I need them as I am sick and tired of sick and tired. But like @justjen71 said my openness and insight gives me the ability to heal myself. My brain is swiss cheese and my receptors are hanging on to reciprocate whatever, lol. My therapist and I just talked about this last week and she too said she thinks I can actually with the help of a couple different treatment styles begin to feel better. I believe both of these ladies. Because I have done it most recently the 3 yrs I spent in prison. If I can make it in a place like that with the way I am basically by my practice. I can do it again. Im a truck and I slide off the road periodically. But we all do and its just different degrees.
This morning I was reading on the bipolar subredit about some drugs that are helping some cats there. MANY MANY of the ones I used to be on were working for them and in relatively smaller doses than I was on. Now something I found out, that I did not know about was a genetic procedure to find out what my liver will metabolize and we could get to the heart of the matter instead of months or years of me being a guinne pig.
Now I* will have to ponder this for some time or unless the universe tells me different.!!!
Thanks for swinging by and chattin me up. I sure do appreciate it!!!
!LUV !hivebits
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