I'm actually feeling pretty good and it's actually hard to remember how bad I was feeling.
I know this is not over and I need to keep on my medication for a good while yet but to not be constantly battling anxiety has freed up my energy levels. I still have the odd day where I sometimes feel it lurking in the back of my head, looking out to see if it stands a chance of getting out to play, but it's staying in it's corner and hiding.
I'm not saying I'm running around without a care in the world, I'm just getting odd jobs done as I can. Having bust my ribs falling over nearly two weeks ago hasn't stopped me but I'm only needing pain killers in the morning when I fist get up now and a week or so of nice weather has seen me out in the garden.
To enjoy something again feels great, I'm even looking around the house and tidying things up, not doing the bare minimum to keep things ticking over. Things at last seem to be moving forward and the bad times since the new year are fading into memory.
A bonus is my wife has also seen an improvement in her mood which always lifts the worry off my shoulders. While I flirt with mental health she has the full blown illness and the scars to show how hard her battle is.
Also at last, after years of fighting this on our own we have help.
My wife has a CPN who comes in to see her and we have social workers for us and the kids to help with getting things sorted out. To start with this was scary, having the authorities involved in our family, but they can pull strings and get things done that I could never do on my own. The kids are getting extra support at school and have people they can talk to if they are worried. Now they are of an age where the full effects of living in a home where there is mental health problems can't be hidden and they have questions they want to ask. You can't hide a room full of paramedics treating mummy or daddy, especially when it happened five times in a month or so.
So far this year has been really hard going but as a family unit we have come through it and we are all in a better place. We now have understanding support to help us all and sometimes having someone from the outside telling you how well you are dong means a lot. To see a list of things we are doing right and what we are doing to improve on other areas helps you feel that things can move forward.
I'm actually feeling pretty positive just now, I've been caring for my wife long enough to know her mood can crash at any time but I no longer feel alone. Our kids have a support network and even though we are all very close and talk to each other it's important that they have someone else to go to if they need it. I've been told that I have to look after my own mental health, no more stupid mistakes of worrying about others and forgetting to take my own tablets. As a family we will always have to deal with this illness so we make the most of the good times and I need to have my head straight for the bad times that come.
With the garden looking much better and the patio area cleaned up we're having a family BBQ this weekend so we can sit outside and enjoy the weather and steemit will be part of it as it paid for the BBQ and the patio furniture.
(This picture is from last year when we bought it.)
Thanks for that.
Really nice to hear that things are picking up for you. Also glad the bashed ribs are not keeping you down or dragging you under. Yes, you do need to remember to take care of yourself also, because you are the family glue. You all are, family is about helping each other, and remembering to help yourself also.
Nice looking BBQ is that a smoker box on the left side of it? I have always wanted a smoker BBQ, maybe one day I'll have one.
Thanks, yes it is a smoker on the left but not tried it out yet, use it to keep the cooked food warm while i cook the rest so far.
The best medication to anxiety is self belief, when I struggled with anxiety a few years ago, it was because of how I saw my self. I had to teach myself that people will always talk and that everyone is entitled his/her own opinion and that does not make it a fact. I had to train my mind to believe that I could do and look better, now I feel like i'm the king of the world. DO NOT underestimate the power of self-believe and positivity.
And also , you have a cool garden.
Thank you. I'd just reached a point where I felt alone and unable to cope, constant worry and life beating me down. Just getting help in and being told what a great job i was actually doing is helping. I can now see things in a more positive light.
I've not much to add, but I'm happy to read this.
You have no idea how happy I am to read this today! The fact that you and your family now have caring outside help on a regular basis is absolutely huge; so glad to know you now have that. Your "online friends and family" are always here for you, but it's difficult to give concrete support when we're so far away ... but you know we're behind you all the way and that we love you. Have a wonderful family bbq this weekend! :) xox
thanks, just hope the weather picks back up as it's rained all today.
I am happy to hear that things are turning around for you and there will be sunny days ahead. You have had a very hard time this year and I am so pleased that you were able to get the support you need so you don't feel all alone in your battles. I think that you do a remarkable job, so kudos to you!
Thank you, just hope the bad times are behind us for a while.
Though I haven't experienced what you have, when I get down and stressed I make a gratitude list; which helps me put things into perspective and raise my mood.
It's great to see you're both making progress.
Thanks, it's strange how making lists of things that are working helps. I suppose it's down to being able to see things down on paper, a visual sign of the positives.
I've lost a lot of my anxiety from quitting caffeine.
Not sure I could give up my coffee.
:D
Good to hear you feel better.
BTW Is that the girl who refuses to do gardening work in the photo?
That's the other one, she will help out if I ask.
I am happy to hear that things are turning around for you and there will be sunny days ahead. You have had a very hard time this year and I am so pleased that you were able to get the support you need so you don't feel all alone in your battles. I think that you do a remarkable job, so kudos to you!