as my energy is running out, I planned to simply vote on your post and leave, but after I read your full article, I gotta share my experience to you no matter how exhausted am I
The Doc judged me got a depression back in 2008, and I started to take the anti-depression medicine, recently I even need the sedative to tranquillize myself.
It's always important for yourself to talk to someone, no matter in person or on the internet, you will feel way better even the other doesn't respond you so much, all the important thing is that there's someone listing to you which making you feel you are being cared.
I deeply understand how disgusted for we depression patients listen the others trying to tell us "just don't think about it, think the others positive", so I am not going to say the same shit to you.
For me, when I can't control my depressed feeling, I'd keep telling myself "try to fight against and kick that shit ass", so I am so active on the social media lately that could help to distract my attention. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but it's better for us to just sitting here and accept all the bad feeling occupying our mind.
You are always welcome to talk me if you feel depressed in the future, let's fight against that shit and have a bright life.