You sound very much like somebody close to me. I always tell them that there is no such thing as perfection. It's an illusion.
There is a lot more to be said for honesty, integrity, effort than getting something perfect.
If you try and fail that is still better than not trying for fear of failure. This post was messy, jumpy and blurted out onto the page but it was heartfelt, honest and full of truths. That makes it perfect.