Thank you @puravidaville for your challenging question: what would I do with a million dollars?
Let me respond by asking: what have I done with a million dollars?
I’m a fairly old man… that being said, my first million came in small increments over the course of a larger amount of years. Easy come, easy go. I found out at an early age that my realistic goals could be achieved with minimal effort, and since my standards weren’t unrealistic, my effort was often held to at a minimum level.
It also took a minimum amount of effort to spend a maximum amount of money...that being said, I was blessed with a wife who had no problem spending money, and who could always be counted on to spend every last cent that we had. At times there was hardly enough left over to support my modest vices. The first milly went fast.
So what would I do with another million....right here, right now?
Fortunately, I’ve had experience in blowing money so I realize that the first thing to do is head to Vegas. With a million bucks in my pocket, I’m already a loser. There is so much potential for a guy like me to parlay fortune into misfortune that even as I win, the odds are stacked against me. Put a million bucks in my pocket and although it took one of the most valiant efforts in my life to abandon cigarettes, I would be smoking Cuban cigars by the end of the night.
That same devil who gifted me with a million dollars in the first place, would surely curse me in games of chance, but first things first...
before I hit the tables I need to feast on a nice thousand dollar dinner and drink massive amounts of alcohol in order to take the edge off. It isn’t easy being an instant millionaire...oh hell...I’m gettin some hookers and some designer drugs too...party time!
Ok...now I’m ready to party.
As soon as I begin gambling I start winning more money. Before I know it, I have three more miserable million dollars at my disposal and I'm barely two hours in. I’m gonna need help. I feel like I’m living a fantasy here so just to make sure...lets get more drugs, alcohol and designer ladies. I acquire more party accoutrements because I realize I’m gonna need some friends to help me get through this dilemma: I seem to be developing a rather severe buzz inside my head and who are these women hanging all over me?
Well I’m no fool, so it don’t take me long to figure out that I gotta get out of this town. I now have twenty seven million dollars and an entourage that Barnum and Bailey would be proud of. How is it it that even though I’ve never met any of these fools before, they all call out my name? Oh well, the perils of being rich.
Ima have to get me a bus to haul my shit now.
Ok...I gotta go now. Now that I’m rich I aint got time for y’all. Money didn’t turn me into a prick.... It just made me a rich one.
Ok...fantasy time is over.
It’s obvious that you should give the money to someone that needs it.
Someone a bit more responsible?
We all end up getting the things that we truly shoot for. I could have accumulated many more material trinkets in life but then I’d have way more to get rid of. One of my best friends essentially told me I should pay someone to haul away most of the stuff I already have, but If anyone knows where I could get a million dollars worth of time,I would be happy to share a bunch of it with you. Maybe we could scrape up a few bucks and go on one of those cruise ships. You would think an old guy like me should be able to stay out of trouble on a nice, sensible little cruise...
Oh my...Is that my name I hear them calling
Oh man this is great!! Your killing me over here. Lol.
“A million dollars worth of time”
Now that is something definitely to think about.
Hmm I wonder how long that would be? A lifetime maybe?
A dollar is a day?
There has to be some logical calculations for this. 😉
What perplexes me is that when we're young, time is plentiful but we tend to be in a big hurry. As we age, we begin to see value in taking our time and enjoying life. When we get old we would give it all away for a little more time. Now money is a whole different subject....what are you gonna do if you're the one with the dough? Take the challenge @jsplatts . The gangsta cash dog just dumped a million dolla load on your lawn.
I totally agree. Seems a little backwards, but when your old you don’t move as fast as when you were young. Maybe life is meant to be that way, give you time to reflect because you move a bit slower and think a bit slower. 😉
I don’t know if I can top yours but what the heck, I’ll give it a shot.
I’m goin to have to sleep on this one 😉
Take your time...no pun intended.
👍🏻👍🏻😏
Haha… I was laughing so loudly that dandays kept laughing at me. You know every party you’ve ever been to ever, YOU are leaving as the most popular person there. Man, I thoroughly enjoyed the journey you took me on with your answer. Thank you for being a good sport @carklevicci. I hope that one day all of your million dollar fantasies come true, accept maybe the hookers. Herpes is permanent you know?!? Haha… I love your creativity my friend. ✌️
If I ever get the chance to make you laugh, I'll take it. You and @dandays are out of my league but you inspire me to summon a bit of creativity. Your post was beyond brilliant.
A guy I know told me never admit when I suck.
Man, thanks for saying that @carcklevicci. Sure is nice! You writing is a league of its own; carklevicci league. Great job, @dandays was still talking about it when he picked me up from work last night. :)
This is one of the funniest posts I’ve ever read. Dude you need to post more, less brakes, more gas pedal. I know how little time this took you to throw together, too. What was it, an hour?
Ya, it’s official, we all could use a funny post like this regularly.
Thanks man. I have to be careful not to get too real on here. Keep pushin me.
Ya’all.
Hey I know this guy well. The funniest part about this post is the reality of it. This dude is not exaggerating or showing off his writing ability. He’s probably already done near identical events just less the dough.
Great post.
Thanks @puravidaville for calling this dude out. Keep making us laugh, sir.
"lets get more drugs, alcohol and designer ladies"
You got me hahahah . It was freaking hilarious , and totally worth my time :)
what a dope quote We all end up getting the things that we truly shoot for
Thanks for reading. It's great to share with someone as creative as yourself. I look forward to your fantastic music..maybe someday I can offer up a request.
Make it count homes! You made us laugh harder than we have in a long time with this post, try not to disappoint with a cheesy request.
Does that eliminate Stairway to Heaven and Highway to Hell?
I love both of them , but you know, i change things, so i probably will transform it and make it Highway to Heaven
Yes’ir @carklevicci, both of those are disqualified.
Thanks for the compliment ! You can do whatever request you have in your head!
You can even do some what if?
What if Sinatra was singing some Elvis? what if Sting was singing Queen? And So on...
I was just messin with @dandays on the Highway thing.
I think you singing "World Without Tears"by Lucinda Williams ,would be poignant.
Are you familiar with Miriam Makeba? (dumb question).
Yes! That's not too much of a dumb question because I am not from South Africa but France originally, so my musical knowledge of the country is very limited, but I do know Miriam Makeba and I used to sing one of her song Pata Pata in Xhosa language.
I have noted your request :) I will listen to it later on ! It's always a pleasant surprise!
I like that song. My favorite of hers is Ha Po Zamini. Take care...keep singing and we'll all keep listening!
‘Pay someone to haul it away.’ Eh that sounds like a pretty cool dude to me, do I know him?
Ixnay (icksnay? Ixsnay? ....X out!) that load of wordly possessions and see what the oxygen feels like when you’re running light.
I could pay some of your homies $1 each to take whatever they can carry.