We're all striving hard for happiness and peace, don't we? Sometimes this search has taken such a toll that we've searched almost everywhere, only to encounter ever-growing grief and despair.
The essential answer is always the same: Begin where you are.
Humans haven't always had this inner calling for soul-searching. We weren't always meaning cravers. It started with a book. Freud published his first major work, The Interpretation of Dreams, right at the birth of the twentieth century. And from that point on, we have been increasingly fascinated with ourselves and the deep-inner world of ours.
Yet at the same time, our anxiety and the desire for avoiding uncertainty have only sky-rocketed. For all this fascination and musing, we are more divorced than ever from ourselves and our world.
The reasons we have failed to find peace through all this astonishing effort are no doubt rather too complex to deduce. But part of the answer is that we are looking in the wrong place. Part of the answer is that all of our searchings leads nowhere if it has resulted from a lack of belief in ourselves and the world around us.
Psychology can help. Spirituality can help for sure. Meditations and Mindfulness, you can count on them. But you can't remove yourself from the picture. As long as your ruminations are rooted in lack of self-confidence and wariness in the world, you will always be trying to figure out what worked for someone else.
Blinded by the futile quest for inner meaning, we often forget that life may be a test but we all have to answer different questions. You will try them yourself, only to realize that it wasn't what you were actually looking for. Workshops, sessions, books, courses and other tools can only be helpful if you use them to help you connect with where you are.
Looking for peace, happiness, or psychological fulfillment out there will not do you any good. You don't need to overthink about yourself either. You just have to associate yourself with exactly where you are, not somewhere else you feel like you're supposed to be.
Connect with Where You are.
You do not need to pack for bags for Tibet or Chiang Mai. You do not need to find the perfect spiritual Guru or the perfect self-help course. You do not have to do anything special whatsoever. All you need to do is to open yourself gently to receive what already is out there for you, just as the earth receives the rain or a sunflower opens to the sun.
So You understand that you have to connect, but How?
Look at the Challenges life has chosen for you to Overcome.
Sometimes, Life surprises us with major negative changes. Moments of unbearable pain and despair can shake even the psychologically strongest of us.
Negative changes can take various forms. They can be the death of your parents. Or an undesired divorce from your lover. They can be major health problems. You might be struggling in your college or grad school. Your dream job may have turned into a total nightmare.
These are difficult passages, requiring time, patience, and a lot of support from others. More often than not, they arrive in bunches. The old cliche, "Misfortunes never come singly" sounds truer than ever.
You are deprived of rhythm and balance. And it's not at all strange or unnatural to be deeply affected by a major loss like the death of your loved ones.
Life would seem to be empty and pointless for sure. But as time passes, things go back to normal and life proceeds on. You move through your grief. You begin to heal and gradually you are able to return to where you were before the turmoil.
I have observed that Negative changes affect us way more than positive changes. Many positive occurrences in life like promotions, marriage, career changes, graduations, and significant success are generally less acknowledged.
Nevertheless, they're still difficult situations. While we may feel happier than ever, it's important to stay connected to the things that make us who we are. These are the times when we have an urge to sacrifice the inner peace for superficial stuff. It's difficult but essential for us to stay Grounded.
A Promotion doesn't give you right to bash your co-workers. Just 'cause you got yourself admitted into a top college doesn't mean you should give up on your old friends. No amount of success should pull yourself away from your family. These are the moments when connection matters even more.
Moments of negative changes drive us back to our roots. We look for support of others and thus helps us to connect with where we are and who we are.
Positive Changes while not as much as acknowledged, are the real test. It's the choices that we make when we are in most control determine how much we care for our peace and happiness.
Your inner peace and happiness lie solely on the connection with where you are - your friends, family, nature, and work. And It's important to take note that your connection is dependent on the choices you take when life changes its course.
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