First: thank you for apologizing and owning up to the wrong doing. Desperation can make people do really shameful things sometimes, but the fact that you realize it now, are owning it, and trying to change means the world.
I look forward to seeing your own content. You seem like a really intelligent guy and I'm sure you have plenty to say and in a way that will generate upvotes! It isn't easy, but you will find your voice.
In turn, it may even give you a sense of power and control when your life is otherwise spiraling!
I am so glad the mods at PAL/MSP were able to make you understand and help you realize what you did wrong. And I am even more glad you've decided to turn over a new leaf!
I'm giving you a follow, I expect good things to come!
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Thanks for having the time to read the post.
And yes desperation and frustration if not handled correctly will always yield a bad thing.
A while ago own life expectancy estimates did take a huge rise just by realizing, owning and changing a mistake so I'm fully aware with the good that takes place after breaking one's arrogance.
BTW congratulations on being a mod I'm expecting better things to come ;)