In my younger days, I thought buying trinkets was the way to a woman's heart. Thanks to Tomassi and people like him, now my general first date is telling a girl she can pick out a Redbox movie and order three things off the dollar menu. It's scary how much better the second option works.
This is a true story: My go-to comeback when a girl starts shit testing me is, "Girl, you better watch out. If you don't start acting right I might not let you rub my feet later."
Works every time.