The Last Baby Blues

When I was 11 years old, I remember going to my friend's house and loving being there. One day, she told me she did not want to invite me over anymore because I just came to see the babies. She actually came from a family of 11 at the time, which then became a family of 13. Even though I really liked that friend, I cannot say she was totally wrong about what she said. I have always loved babies. I used to feel overhelmed with joy when I saw one and that feeling just kept on growing through the years. I used to want 11 children and as time went by, I finally decided I would have less than that, without having an exact number in mind. I just knew I wanted to have a lot of babies ;)

When I met the man who would become my husband, it did not take take long before I talked to him about my baby desire. Although he wanted children, he was, however, not a big fan of huge families. We got married in 2010 and welcomed our first baby to this world in 2011. When I held her in my arms, I truly felt like I had spent all my life waiting for her. She was my miracle, everything I had been dreaming of. We had quite a parenthood experience with her as she had (and still has) a lot of health issues, but she has always been a wonderful blessing to us. We then had our second baby girl in 2014, a joyful little angel, and our third... A BOY! in 2016. For those of you who are wondering... yes it seems like we beat the odds as we had a 75% chance of having another girl :P

Even though I prepared myself to the fact that this baby was our last, I still have a really hard time accepting it... The thought of not being pregnant anymore, not giving birth anymore, not holding a newborn who is mine in my arms anymore, not having this wonderful experience of raising another child anymore... it really breaks my heart :(

A lot of people think 2 children is plenty enough and that they finally start getting their life back when children are growing up, but I feel the complete opposite! I feel so empty inside when I think about my babies not being babies anymore.

I guess baby blues has many different meanings to a lot of different women, but mine definitely is the last baby blues...