Criticism is part of the inevitables of life. In fact, if you want to grow in life and if you want development, then you must be open to criticism, which may come from many places - family, loved ones, mentors, teachers, and even from total strangers. Sometimes, people tend to look negatively on criticism and may even tend to lose their confidence by it, but if you look deeply into it, you will see lessons to be learnt from it. This is why you have to learn to handle criticism without negativity, so that it will not crack your confidence and your motivation. We will take a look at how to receive the positive message behind criticism and use it for personal growth instead of being discouraged by it.
Before we continue, I would like to state that not all criticisms are equal. There are constructive criticisms and destructive criticisms. While the former can help one to get better, build one up, and motivate one, the latter can discourage one from even making attempts. For example; if a student writes a homework of an essay and submits, and his teacher tells him; "your essay looks good but you have to pay more attention on your paragraphing, use connecting verbs more, and try to improve on your clarity." The student will know where to work on. The criticism would make the student better. But if the teacher tells him; "your essay is terribly bad," it will discourage him and he may even think he is of no good. So it is important to differentiate between both types of criticisms to know what to welcome.
Even though you are to welcome criticisms, you should not swallow everything "hook-line-and-sinker." You should be able to take the feedbacks that will help you to grow, not the ones that will put you down or make you to think less of yourself. So for the purpose of this post, we shall be focusing on how to learn from only "constructive criticisms." Firstly, you have to develop a mindset of growth in order to learn from criticisms. If you do not want to grow, then there is nothing anyone does that will force you to grow. When you have the mindset of growth, you will begin to see criticisms as an opportunity to learn new things and to grow from it.
The next point is to be open-minded to view criticisms as an opportunity and not an attack on your person. If you start to take criticisms personal or as an attack, you may lose the benefits that you can draw from them. When someone comments on the errors you made while addressing the public, for example, instead of thinking that you are not good enough to address the public or that you are bad at public speaking, just tell yourself that you can do better if you have practised well. More so, you do not have to put up a defensive mechanism against the criticisms, but welcoming it positively. After all, you are not trying to give an excuse about what they are critiquing you for, but you want to learn to be better.
Another very vital point is to remain calm and listen critically. Before you talk, react, or respond to criticism, try to get the message behind it first. It is true that at first, you may feel naturally prompted to be defensive, but you need to be calm and listen first without reacting emotionally, so that you will not miss the benefits in it. Listen to the context of what is said, not how it is said. You may not like the person or even how they presented it, but when it comes to constructive criticisms, you have to look beyond your emotions.
The last point is to seek for clarification or help. There are sometimes that a criticism may not be too clear or it may have some vagueness, so it is not out of place to seek for clarity. Ask questions that are relevant to what was talked about. For example; if your teacher tells you that "your essay lacks the elements of a good work," you could ask questions to enquire which part they are referring to and where to improve. With these feedbacks, you can know where to work on and it will be easier for you to achieve success. Do not assume what the person means when it is unclear, learn to ask questions and get clarified.
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