Just as Nakia in the Black Panther said, “No man is perfect, not even your father. You can't let your father's mistakes define who you are,” I had goosebumps. What happened on the morning of March 7 was coincidental to this line in the blockbuster Marvel movie which I watched hours later.
Photo grabbed from Black Panther
It was a peculiar day.
When I arrived at my mother’s office at around 10 am just to pick up something, she sported a strange look, eventually explained by her officemate sitting next to her. With her face a little red and her eyes almost teary, she was not able to say to me that her wallet was lost to a stranger she talked to on her way to work.
My initial reaction was like what anyone would do: “How did it happen?” I asked.
She went on to explain in detail, while being uneasy, what had transpired. It only sank in to her that her wallet was pickpocketed when she reached her office.
The small lady whom my mother had a short conversation with took the IDs, ATM cards, and some P4,000 cash along with the wallet. I sympathized and got concerned with my mother, of course.
Quickly, we went to the bank to get her ATM card replaced. As soon as she finished the transaction after an hour or two, we decided to have lunch.
While we were on the topic of lost wallets, my mother spontaneously shared that my father once found a wallet inside a bus but refused to return it to the owner despite having the chance. She tells that he intentionally kept the valuable item even after seeing that a stranger had dropped it.
At that moment of our conversation, I painted my father as a terrible guy because I never imagined that he could be that dishonest – I did not inherit such a trait.
This image of my father lied low at the back of my brain as I resumed to spending my day normally – only to be triggered later by the Black Panther movie which I watched with my siblings and aunt in the last full show.
In a scene, Nakia lectures T’Challa, “No man is perfect, not even your father. You can't let your father's mistakes define who you are.”
Photo grabbed from Black Panther
Then it hit me.
My father committed a mistake of not returning the wallet. It was a dishonest act that he did perhaps more than a decade ago and yet I have not forgiven him for it as if it was me he had done wrong.
That line by Nakia made me realize that it should no longer be an issue to me given the imperfections of a man, especially now that my father is in heaven.
More importantly, I am not obliged to think that I am my father and his mistakes. Because I know for sure that when I find a missing wallet, I would return it to the owner given the opportunity – it feels terrible to lose it like what my mother had experienced.