Hello! I want to tell everyone my transition story because it's always fun to share with others!
A quick little before and after to give you an idea, first picture is from 2012 and the second is just a few days ago!
2012/2017
15 | highschool
I was struggling with gender dysphora since I started to hit a late pubery, it was pretty confusing and I was not sure what to do about it, I eventually discovered a community that I could really relate to, and because of that I was able to have a better understanding of my problems and what I could do to overcome them. I started HRT when I was 15 by ordering it from the internet. I took it for a while, but decided to stop because I was not sure it was the direction I wanted to take in life, I went through a lot of emotions in this time; I was trying very hard to be as manly as I could.
I had no pictures in this time
20 pre hrt | dropped out of university | 2012
I made a very bizarre choice to drop out of university to pursue a relationship, at the time it was a really stupid move, but it was a bold decision that I grew a lot from- no regrets. In this time I was cross dressing a lot and felt happy doing so. The relationship failed, and the depression from working a min wage job was hurting me a lot. I had a chance to redeem myself by getting myself back into school, so that became the goal I was aiming for. This was around when gender dysphoria was really bad; I was depressed and had no idea what to do. I kept thinking being manly would help, but that was just killing me inside. I ordered HRT online and held off a few months before starting.
As you can see, was trying extra hard with the beard.
21 with HRT | in college now
I started taking HRT while trying to find a doctor to get a prescription for it. Was already starting with laser hair removal- a lot of hairs to zap. I encountered a problem where a lot of my facial hair was turning white, so this lead to a lot of sadness; laser cannot zap lighter hairs. College was going very well, I had a co-op lined up and was very happy with it.
Looking alright, but I had to shave daily.
22 | full time job
Around this time I was a lot more confident with myself, but I was still not full time because of facial hair. At work I still had to present male, but I was able to get away with wacky hair cause I was a valuable asset. I was living in a dump and trying super hard to save up money for ffs. I was still draining away a lot of money trying to get rid of facial hair.
That colour was a lot of fun, but not very professional.
23 | presenting female full time
I went through a relationship that was great, but it wouldn't have worked out, so we both moved on happy. At work it was a huge struggle with presenting female; the environment was terrible and I felt very out of place. I started to hate my job, so my goal was to get FFS and leave. I had it pretty much 100% saved up, just needed to start planning ahead to figure out what to do after. I was still trying to remove facial hair, it was still a burden on me.
I had a super awesome room mate who helped me a lot with makeup
24/25 | bad times & very good times
So, I had all my plans made out for FFS. I traveled to the states to have it done, and everything was going well, but when I was about to go into the operating room the anesthesiologist was concerned with my heart (I have a very bad heart) and because of that they canceled the surgery. I was absolutely devastated, and ended up back in Canada with nothing. After months of working and trying to figure out plans with doctors, they concluded that the surgery is not realistic because the anesthesia would stop my heart and I would die. So with that, I quit my job and traveled to BC.
I arrived there and met up with my friend, we ended up traveling around Canada and eventually The Yukon. We got a job there as bartenders in a small town and we just partied hard and explored every inch of nature. We went back to Ontario in November.
I do not have much pictures from this time, but I got pretty fat from greasy food and heavy drinking.
25/26
When I got back to Ontario I was struggling to find work, so instead we did stuff in Toronto, traveled eastern Canada, and had a fun trip to Japan! I still had a modest amount of money left from my FFS fund, so that all went to good use. I also finished up on laser hair removal!
Where I am right now
And now, I am in trying to get my career back on track while working on self improvement. It was been a rough ride, but I am now at the point where I don't have to worry about gender dysphoria. The last thing I need to do is voice training, which has been hard for me, but with enough practice and lessons from my awesome teacher I feel like I can pull through.
Thanks for reading! As a bonus here is a picture of my dog < 3
You can also see more NSFW pictures here https://fetlife.com/users/837366
Thank you for sharing. I'm AMAB, and identify as genderfluid. Some days I feel like I should transition, and other days I feel like I don't even know what gender is or why anyone would care. Which makes committing to doing anything long term really hard. I am getting hair removal in most of my body, but HRT seems like way to big of a deal.
You are gorgeous! And kinda remind me of Avril Lavigne. <3
It seems odd to me that they don't do such surgery with an epidural instead of general anesthesia. Have you looked into it? Don't know much about it, so just curiously wondering out loud.
In any case, you got yourself a new follower.
It's quite a life story! So much of it I can directly relate to! I'm glad whenever I see people sharing on here like you did.
Thank you!
Omg! U r so beautiful! U look great honey!
thanks!
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God bless you and thank you for sharing your journey. Life as is Love is a process, not a destination so take delight in each day for each is a blessed gift.
The best thing I can recommend for facial hair removal is electrolysis. It's a lot more permanent than laser treatments. I haven't had beard shadow since about 2008 because of electrolysis.