Uhhh! I sooooo relate to this! I used to loooooooooove smoking. My parents took my pacifier away from me when I was three and I freaked the fuck out. I think I found my adult pacifier. Then I got horrific eczema and that was the end of that. I have NO idea how I did that to myself. I now take my body SO seriously and won't even eat macaroni and cheese for God's sake!
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I know right! It was that handling of emotions that got me. I'm in control of that now... the thought of being a smoker now... yuck!!!!!!
Yeah you gotta just feel sorry for poor us in this crazy world without the skills to handle it.
I know right? I was just so different to how my beautiful parents handled life and they didn't have the skills to teach me otherwise!!