The stigma around mental health is still well alive though it may not be as pronounced as it was ages ago. It's something that most people can't really understand. Damn, even people who suffer from them can't fully comprehend what they are experiencing most of the time.
Feeling like you need to do stuff and survive your daily life but you just can't be bothered to. That feeling when out of the blue you don't find pleasure in doing things that used to give you joy. It's understandable when at times you might mistaken it as mood changes or indecisiveness, but when these kinds of things affect how you live your life drastically, it's not something that you should just put aside.
Although many are well aware of it, they still wouldn't fully understand how you would feel. Of course, they would feel that they should support you, listen to you but how can we explain to them what's wrong when even we don't truly know what's going on.
This song in a way, I feel represents how I feel towards the people who try their best to help and understand me. I mean, it's great to have people beside you to catch you when you stumble and fall, but what they should know is that sometimes it's frustrating to feel a certain way and can't really express it. Sometimes all you want is space, but at the same time you don't really want them to leave you alone.
The song is by a late K-Pop idol, Kim Jonghyun, who has recently passed away by taking his own life. You could say that on the outside he lived a glamorous life, full of joy, laughter and love, but even when he had that, the darkness inside him was eating him away, making him suffer. His music actually makes sense now, some where cries for help, and some, like this song, was a song for gratitude and asking for forgiveness for the people who were there for him.
It's a song, that once again, hits close to home. People ask me all the time if they can do anything to help me, they tell me to talk to them. But the thing is, I feel like if I do talk to them, I'd give them something to worry about, something that'd make them suffer, which in turn would hurt me more. Sometimes, there's just no winning and this song just says that. It's a song I want the people around me, the people who say they care for, to hear and even if it doesn't say much, even if it's vague, I hope they'd understand.