Then your beef seems to be with political corruption. Like I said, the military is part and parcel with a nation-state. But if the oligarchs and plutocrats are using their influence to fight wars with your military, then stop it at the source. The hard, cold reality I am talking about is that military intervention and capabilities are not the problem. Go back to the source: war-mongering pols and the doctrines of war that make it policy (The Monroe Doctine on down to the Bush doctrine, etc.)
The underlying beef you have with the military can be shown, at every point, to be a beef with the elected leadership of the US. In other countries or times, this might be with the royal elite or the military dictators. You might even have a beef with appointed bureaucrats.
The rank-and-file military, the recipients of the Memorial Day tributes, are probably not the problem. They are definitely not the root of the problem. You have a political grievance, plain and simple, and one that I share. The DOD is only as strong as YOUR TAX DOLLARS make it.
Stop paying taxes if that's what it takes.
Government is institutionalized corruption. it has never been anything else. Why do you think a territorial monopoly in violence is, if not a beacon to the corrupt and a corrosive acid destroying the morals of the well-intentioned?
"I cannot accept your canon that we are to judge Pope and King unlike other men with a favourable presumption that they did no wrong. If there is any presumption, it is the other way, against the holders of power, increasing as the power increases. Historic responsibility has to make up for the want of legal responsibility. All power tends to corrupt and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men, even when they exercise influence and not authority: still more when you superadd the tendency or certainty of corruption by full authority. There is no worse heresy than that the office sanctifies the holder of it."—Lord Acton
You know, if you just realize that the military (and police) are just pawns in the hand of the power brokers... that would change some things. These pawns are there to make a few bucks for their family. They see an ad to join and make money. Meanwhile, the top brass get paid to know how to kill bad guys. But the elitists run the show. Most of the elites who run the military and fund it are politicians. Your disgust with the military should be redirected towards Congress, etc.
That's what Lord Acton was saying. The office holder(s) of this nation. We effectively voted for them, which puts the onus on you and me and us all. Your petty little Memorial Day dissent is a pathetic redirection of your own guilt. You brought about this scourge. Right? You know Acton's words, yet failed to act on them by electing better stewards of the State's power to kill and wage war.
You are essentially dissenting against your own error. And our collective error. The wars you hate can be traced back to poor decisions at the polling station. Right or wrong, you dissent against the duly elected leaders of our nation.
There is no solution in politics, because politics is corrupt to the core. That is the point of Acton's quote. You're blaming the victim. I am pointing out it's time to stop playing the political game or worshiping government enforcers as saints.
Collectives don't exist, BTW. There is no collective guilt, collective action, collective representation, or collective responsibility. Individuals can cooperate, but there is no representation without consent, and no new entity is created by magic voting rituals.