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     6 years ago  
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     6 years ago  
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     6 years ago (edited) 

    While it's not expressly written in the bible one way or another, we can draw conclusions from the text for what most likely took place.

    God gives Adam and Eve two commandments. One, don't eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, and two, multiply and replenish the Earth. They were then left alone for a time.

    We don't know how long it took for Lucifer to come along, but there doesn't seem to be a whole lot going on between Adam and Eve in the interim They recognize they are meant for each other, and that they are supposed to have children, but the sexual attraction isn't there.

    The state of existence they were living in was not what we experience now. In the Garden of Eden, they were not aging, they did become ill, or follow normal bodily cycles. They likely would have continued on indefinitely this way, keeping one commandment—avoiding the forbidden fruit—but not complying with the other—multiplying.

    They didn't even realize during this time that they were naked. So, even though they were adults, they were living in a state of innocence or naivete, that didn't go away or change until after eating the fruit.

    Post Fall, after being driven out of the Garden of Eden, we read immediately that Adam knew Eve, that she conceived, and they had Cain.

    So, while they perhaps had the capacity to have sexual intercourse, they were not inclined to it before eating the fruit, but afterwards, apparently were quick to start keeping the commandment so as to have children.

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     6 years ago (edited) 

    I would say any and all conversations where there is a level of disagreement are the hardest ones to have. So you name it, if both spouses are not on the same page, there's bound to be conflict. However, if those conversations don't take place, they can cause things to fester, causing unnecessary grief, until ultimately they end in divorce. In the meantime, there's potential for ongoing frustration, unhappiness and suffering.

    So, the question becomes how to deal with those kinds of conversations?

    —Prioritize. Taking a look at which topics are probably the most benign and therefore easier to resolve and starting there is helpful. It might mean not dealing with bigger things in the interim, but as a foundation for understanding and trust is developed, it's possible that the other topics become more approachable with time.

    —Reminders of why people got married in the first place. If those reasons are still intact, then the difference of opinions need to be put into that context, and seen through that perspective. If things have significantly changed, as they so often do, then maybe the problem isn't so much the differences in opinions as they are the differences in growing apart, having different goals, wants and desires. Those will be at the core of what will need to be addressed.

    —Patience. Sometimes it's easy to give up rather than keep working at things. Irreconcilable differences are often stated for reasons why couples get divorced, but you've got to wonder just how many times that's truly the case. How much was actually discussed? How hard did both parties work at it? Or did they just let things go to the point where being together was more painful than being apart? Sometimes it takes weathering life's storms in order to see what you're both capable of doing as a couple. Life is filled with hurdles, obstacles, and problems. Taking a deep breath and taking on these situational issues is going to take time.

    —Agree to disagree. We hear that a lot anymore, and maybe it goes too far, because some disagreements are just incompatible, or untenable, but before that, there's a lot of ground to cover. Sometimes putting things aside to allow both parties to think about what's been said and what their true position is on things is best. So, once a conversation has started, but resolution isn't there, walking away from it for a while but still carrying on with everything else might help give each other enough space to be able to readdress it at a future time.

    —Most things can be overcome if both spouses are willing. Don't give up on each other at the first sign of trouble, or the second, or the third. There's going to be more disagreeing for a while, especially in the beginning and probably years down the road. It can get better, though, if the lines of communication remain open. Some things, if not rushed, will end up resolving themselves. Others will take work. Don't expect things to be rosey all the time, but don't get down on everything, either. Marriages don't last because thorny subjects are never addressed, but neither do they last because nerves are constantly being stomped on. Somewhere, there is a happy medium, and there needs to be sufficient trust to find it.

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     6 years ago  
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       6 years ago  

      Ah ... that is often tried, I'd say. But it's never succeeding. You can't kill what happened in the past. You can only try to kill love in yourself and will succeed for the future if that would be the plan ;-)

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         6 years ago  
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           6 years ago  

          Thanks. I was almost sure you couldn't but I just put it out there to make sure!

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