If we're talking about marriage before the age of consent (18 in most places), then I would say, no, it's not very good, except maybe where both would be spouses are mature enough to do so (however that might be adequately determined), and particularly when a baby (or out of wedlock pregnancy) is involved. Otherwise, it's generally best to wait.
However, that doesn't mean that people need to wait until certain lifestyle conditions are met to be married. In a lot of cases, a person could get married at 21, start their family and do well. There is a certain amount of maturity that is required to have a successful marriage, and age can't always determine that, but waiting until all conditions are met, including a firm financial foundation, is denying some maturity and growth that can only come through facing adversity. And that adversity would be better served being gone through together, rather than separately.
I was married at 22. My wife was considerably older, so it's probably good that we got married when we did. Now, we just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. We have two sons, who are now married and have children of their own. It can be done, but certain conditions need to be met, and both parties need to be willing to go through all kinds of things to make it work, regardless of the age that they decide to do it at.
I have not had much contact with Muslims so far, and what little I think I know I've gleaned from different sources, including the news, so what I'm going to say should probably be taken with a grain of salt, and certainly should not be considered as expert or experienced opinions.
From observing, though, I don't believe those who purport to believe in Islam are stupid, nor when they convert to Islam is it predominantly because they are stupid. From what I understand, Islam is very much about order, and bringing it to every aspect of life. It's not just about religion and belief, but a way of life and a system of governing.
Which means there are going to be all kinds of people who end up Muslim only because it's expected, and to not convert would probably lead to a whole host of consequences, most of them negative, depending on what form of Islam is practiced.
If one converts to Islam knowing the alternative could cost them their belongings, their family, their reputation and standing, if not their lives and that of their family, is it stupid to convert, or a matter of survival?
Many countries, and not just in the middle east, have become predominantly Muslim nations because a lot of people let it happen, or willed it to be so. Could all of those millions of people be stupid? Statistically, that doesn't seem likely.
Now, if we're talking about Westerners, people from the U.S. or Europe that we hear about now and then converting to Islam, it's difficult to say what's going on in their minds when such a decision is made. Most aren't going to be under the same pressures as the ones mentioned above would be, so they're going to it willingly. Whether they understand what they're doing fully, what they're giving up, especially women, I sincerely doubt, or they probably would choose another course.
Some people are looking for structure. They want something or someone to take control of their lives. Why, who knows. It could be a myriad of different things. As I said, Islam provides order.
Will there be stupid people among Muslims. Most likely, yes, just as there are stupid people, or those who routinely make bad decisions, among most nations or cultures. Doing so out of survival, to avoid bad things happening isn't necessarily stupid. It is what it is. While there are those of us who would prefer people not give in, but hold their ground, most of us won't ever be in that position. To place our lives in danger or those of our loved ones is a hard matter.
It seemed appropriate. Generally, I'm not someone who likes to bring in caveats and a bunch of reasons for why people do what they do, but as I've been going through middle age, there just seems to be more to the story than just what's on the surface. And trying to pick through the layers and get to the root of it has become important to me. I don't know if I came close to doing that here (being a Muslim is not my experience), but I kind of like to give people the benefit of the doubt until I know definitively otherwise. :)
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If we're talking about marriage before the age of consent (18 in most places), then I would say, no, it's not very good, except maybe where both would be spouses are mature enough to do so (however that might be adequately determined), and particularly when a baby (or out of wedlock pregnancy) is involved. Otherwise, it's generally best to wait.
However, that doesn't mean that people need to wait until certain lifestyle conditions are met to be married. In a lot of cases, a person could get married at 21, start their family and do well. There is a certain amount of maturity that is required to have a successful marriage, and age can't always determine that, but waiting until all conditions are met, including a firm financial foundation, is denying some maturity and growth that can only come through facing adversity. And that adversity would be better served being gone through together, rather than separately.
I was married at 22. My wife was considerably older, so it's probably good that we got married when we did. Now, we just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. We have two sons, who are now married and have children of their own. It can be done, but certain conditions need to be met, and both parties need to be willing to go through all kinds of things to make it work, regardless of the age that they decide to do it at.
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I have not had much contact with Muslims so far, and what little I think I know I've gleaned from different sources, including the news, so what I'm going to say should probably be taken with a grain of salt, and certainly should not be considered as expert or experienced opinions.
From observing, though, I don't believe those who purport to believe in Islam are stupid, nor when they convert to Islam is it predominantly because they are stupid. From what I understand, Islam is very much about order, and bringing it to every aspect of life. It's not just about religion and belief, but a way of life and a system of governing.
Which means there are going to be all kinds of people who end up Muslim only because it's expected, and to not convert would probably lead to a whole host of consequences, most of them negative, depending on what form of Islam is practiced.
If one converts to Islam knowing the alternative could cost them their belongings, their family, their reputation and standing, if not their lives and that of their family, is it stupid to convert, or a matter of survival?
Many countries, and not just in the middle east, have become predominantly Muslim nations because a lot of people let it happen, or willed it to be so. Could all of those millions of people be stupid? Statistically, that doesn't seem likely.
Now, if we're talking about Westerners, people from the U.S. or Europe that we hear about now and then converting to Islam, it's difficult to say what's going on in their minds when such a decision is made. Most aren't going to be under the same pressures as the ones mentioned above would be, so they're going to it willingly. Whether they understand what they're doing fully, what they're giving up, especially women, I sincerely doubt, or they probably would choose another course.
Some people are looking for structure. They want something or someone to take control of their lives. Why, who knows. It could be a myriad of different things. As I said, Islam provides order.
Will there be stupid people among Muslims. Most likely, yes, just as there are stupid people, or those who routinely make bad decisions, among most nations or cultures. Doing so out of survival, to avoid bad things happening isn't necessarily stupid. It is what it is. While there are those of us who would prefer people not give in, but hold their ground, most of us won't ever be in that position. To place our lives in danger or those of our loved ones is a hard matter.
Very detailed thoughts!
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Well, I appreciate that, @bsfmalaysia.
It seemed appropriate. Generally, I'm not someone who likes to bring in caveats and a bunch of reasons for why people do what they do, but as I've been going through middle age, there just seems to be more to the story than just what's on the surface. And trying to pick through the layers and get to the root of it has become important to me. I don't know if I came close to doing that here (being a Muslim is not my experience), but I kind of like to give people the benefit of the doubt until I know definitively otherwise. :)
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