To achieve our personal goals and make ourselves truly happy, we need to develop and maintain our self-confidence and self-respect.
To do this we need to understand the difference between worldly self-confidence and authentic self-confidence, and be able to distinguish self-confidence from selfish intentions that prevent us from fulfilling our wish to be truly happy. By using tried and tested methods we can then build and strengthen our self-confidence so that it remains stable and long-lasting.
In his book, How to Transform Your Life, Venerable Geshe Kelsang Gyatso explains clearly how to build authentic self-confidence and how to bring this experience into modern, daily life. Extracts from the book, also available as a free eBook download, are included in the explanation that follows.
WHAT IS AUTHENTIC SELF-CONFIDENCE?
If we look honestly at our own life, and the lives of those around us, we will see that in searching for happiness we spend most of our time and energy improving external conditions, such as increasing our wealth and possessions, enhancing our reputation or finding a better partner. However, we can see through our own experience that even if we are successful in acquiring these external conditions, we will never enjoy the lasting happiness that we all desire. If we try to develop self-confidence based on our ability to acquire better worldly conditions - 'worldly self-confidence' - we will always be left feeling incomplete and disappointed. Worldly self-confidence will never be fully realized or remain stable because we can never be completely satisfied with or hold on to our worldly conditions and achievements.
In the introduction of How to Transform Your Life, Venerable Geshe Kelsang Gyatso says:
‘Since this world evolved, human beings have spent almost all their time and energy improving external conditions in their search for happiness and a solution to their problems. What has been the result? Instead of their wishes being fulfilled, human suffering and problems have continued to increase while the experience of happiness and peace is decreasing. This clearly shows that until now we have not found a correct method for reducing our problems and increasing happiness.’
There is, however, a type of self-confidence that is completely free from worldly aspirations. 'Authentic self-confidence' is based on our wish to achieve spiritual goals and can never lead to harm or dissatisfaction. For example, self-confidence based on a wish to benefit others through increasing our love and compassion for them will be strong and stable and always lead to good results.
Self-confidence based on spiritual aspirations makes our human life precious and meaningful because spiritual goals are the only conditions that actually lead to the lasting happiness we desire. Venerable Geshe Kelsang Gyatso explains:
‘If we use our human life to accomplish spiritual realizations, it becomes immensely meaningful. By using it in this way, we actualize our full potential and progress from the state of an ordinary, ignorant being to that of a fully enlightened being, the highest of all beings; and when we have done this we will have the power to benefit all living beings without exception. Thus, by using our human life for gaining spiritual realizations we can solve all our human problems and fulfil all our own and others’ wishes. What could be more meaningful than this?’
Understanding this we can see that authentic self-confidence can be gained only by attaining spiritual realizations through inner development.
achieve our personal goals and make ourselves truly happy, we need to develop and maintain our self-confidence and self-respect.
To do this we need to understand the difference between worldly self-confidence and authentic self-confidence, and be able to distinguish self-confidence from selfish intentions that prevent us from fulfilling our wish to be truly happy. By using tried and tested methods we can then build and strengthen our self-confidence so that it remains stable and long-lasting.
In his book, How to Transform Your Life, Venerable Geshe Kelsang Gyatso explains clearly how to build authentic self-confidence and how to bring this experience into modern, daily life. Extracts from the book, also available as a free eBook download, are included in the explanation that follows.
WHAT IS AUTHENTIC SELF-CONFIDENCE?
If we look honestly at our own life, and the lives of those around us, we will see that in searching for happiness we spend most of our time and energy improving external conditions, such as increasing our wealth and possessions, enhancing our reputation or finding a better partner. However, we can see through our own experience that even if we are successful in acquiring these external conditions, we will never enjoy the lasting happiness that we all desire. If we try to develop self-confidence based on our ability to acquire better worldly conditions - 'worldly self-confidence' - we will always be left feeling incomplete and disappointed. Worldly self-confidence will never be fully realized or remain stable because we can never be completely satisfied with or hold on to our worldly conditions and achievements.
In the introduction of How to Transform Your Life, Venerable Geshe Kelsang Gyatso says:
‘Since this world evolved, human beings have spent almost all their time and energy improving external conditions in their search for happiness and a solution to their problems. What has been the result? Instead of their wishes being fulfilled, human suffering and problems have continued to increase while the experience of happiness and peace is decreasing. This clearly shows that until now we have not found a correct method for reducing our problems and increasing happiness.’
There is, however, a type of self-confidence that is completely free from worldly aspirations. 'Authentic self-confidence' is based on our wish to achieve spiritual goals and can never lead to harm or dissatisfaction. For example, self-confidence based on a wish to benefit others through increasing our love and compassion for them will be strong and stable and always lead to good results.
Self-confidence based on spiritual aspirations makes our human life precious and meaningful because spiritual goals are the only conditions that actually lead to the lasting happiness we desire. Venerable Geshe Kelsang Gyatso explains:
‘If we use our human life to accomplish spiritual realizations, it becomes immensely meaningful. By using it in this way, we actualize our full potential and progress from the state of an ordinary, ignorant being to that of a fully enlightened being, the highest of all beings; and when we have done this we will have the power to benefit all living beings without exception. Thus, by using our human life for gaining spiritual realizations we can solve all our human problems and fulfil all our own and others’ wishes. What could be more meaningful than this?’
Understanding this we can see that authentic self-confidence can be gained only by attaining spiritual realizations through inner development.