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RE: Jötnar [Original Novel] Ragnarok Conspiracy (Part Five Chapter Three)

in #mythpunk7 years ago

Near the end of the chapter:

At the sound of the name Jötnar, a shock went through Bjarne's body. As if a silent scream of a thousand voices sounded in agony and each of the voices touched Bjarne's heart at its deepest core in a most personal way.

I think this paragraph sounds/flows better if written as a single sentence, as follows:

At the sound of the name Jötnar, a shock went through Bjarne's body, as if a silent scream of a thousand voices sounded in agony and each of the voices touched Bjarne's heart at its deepest core, in a most personal way.