I think you're lucky to have survived this. Some parts sound to me like gambling with your body.
When I had my ambulance shifts in summer we once came to a couple where the woman turned out to have had a miscarriage too. She was in her late 30s, so I (having turned 40 last year too) felt really sorry for her.
We happened to transport an overdue pregnant during the same shift.
Sometimes life has strange ways.
I agree parts do sound shaky. Happy you made it through this experience @vanessamidwife.
I would advise others if the baby has no heartbeat consider the hospital route to save yourself the perils of possibly bleeding.
It is so difficult for any woman to have to go through a miscarriage, and then to be faced with the responsibility of choosing her way forward. There is a theatre procedure called dilation and curettage (D&C) where the baby and placenta are scraped out via the vagina. There is medication called misoprostol that causes contractions and softens the cervix. Then there is waiting for the miscarriage to happen naturally.
The risks of a D&C are stuff that I want to avoid totally. They include excessive bleeding (I know of too many cases where the surgeons didn't successfully remove all the products of conception and the women need to go for subsequent procedures), infection and perforation of the uterus. Having a D&C also increases the chance for future miscarriages. It can cause abnormal placental implantation in future pregnancies (leading to placenta previa and abruptio placenta) and damage to the cervix to the point where it cannot dilate in a future natural birth. Asherman's syndrome is also a risk where adhesions develop in the uterus, leading to abnormal and painful menstruation, as well as infertility. The risks of anaesthesia alone is enough for me to refuse a theatre procedure.
Misoprostol can cause excessive bleeding, uterine rupture and amniotic fluid embolism.
Natural miscarriage has the risk of excessive bleeding and infection.
I felt that I could monitor the risks of a natural miscarriage accurately and take action if any complication should occur. My husband was also informed of all the dangers. We also stay 5 minutes away from the hospital. I felt it was far safer to wait for my body to complete the miscarriage naturally.
Did you read about my home birth after this miscarriage? I also did it in a way that many medical professionals would deem dangerous, but I make informed decisions in every situation.
@vanessamidwife For you it was the right path. Many Blessings.
I have had a D & C ... miscarriage and my only pregnancy. There is my story which I may tell one day. The emotions that follow are unfathomable. I must add I had the miscarriage and then received the drug for contractions and was unable to complete .. emergency surgery (D &C) .. Believe it or not my doctor, a woman, did not even come to visit me after the sad surgery. :(