I was watching a Jordan Peterson interview the other day when the interviewer had asked the audience if they had any questions; of course there was many -- but the microphone went to a young lady who seemed to ask him why he thinks he is right, when clearly in her mind he was wrong. She said it in a condescending and patronising way too, which was a bit cringey to watch.
Nevertheless, in true Jordan Peterson style he said quietly and calmly to her,
People that haven't got their own affairs in order should be very very careful about going around trying to change the world.
Of course, he could have tore her a new arsehole, but she was young, and I expect wholly inexperienced in a heated debate. So this was his answer, and I'd have to agree with him. He didn't know her of course, or anything about her, but show me a young person that has their affairs in order? In my experience it's in our thirties when life starts to come together.
But I'd like to examine this deeper, the whole entire concept of fixing your own life first before trying to fix those of others. It's something I had to learn very harshly, and at the expense of my own sanity -- sometimes I've had to watch people self destruct, and knowing there was nothing I could do about it. If you've worked with people for as long as I have then you'll know that the only people that can fix anyone is themselves. It's why there's a lot of weight in the saying,
Sometimes you have to lose everything to feel the wind of change
People rarely change. Ideas change, Political sways change, but for the most part of it the way in which you approach and interact with situations never changes, because we aren't really actually aware of it. If this idea confuses you then think that you may have changed your friend circle entirely over the last two years; yet the way you interacted and infiltrated your new friends was exactly in the same way as you did your last. It's your actions that really matter -- words for the most part are meaningless, unless acted upon.
The main part of the entire process is being aware of how you interact with the world and is it a positive, or negative influence; usually a counsellor will help you do this; being self-aware isn't something that you just happen on. The way our society is constructed self-awareness is something that you have to work hard to achieve. Our entire system is set in a way to make you think that you shouldn't be as you are. Think of the last product you wanted to buy because you didn't feel complete without it. Clever marketing tells you that you have a problem and their product will fix it -- when generally, and most of the time you don't need it.
When you're more self aware then you're faced with a choice. Do something about it, or not. And believe me -- I've met people that have been happy to continue as they are. But I don't blame them, some of the barriers they face to achieve their goals are so steep, only a mountain of self-encouragement can move it. Sometimes actions to remove those barriers are so hard that I wouldn't blame them if they continued as they were. I've been through it myself; the journey is perilous, and sometimes it can have you facing the noose. Yes, there was a time in my life when I was so upset about it that I was close to walking into a noose. Alas, luckily I didn't go through with it.
It's VERY hard, change. That's why Psychiatric hospitals have safety precautions all over. Railings that come loose whenever the slightest of pressure is exerted. Every locked door can be unlocked, windows that can't be opened fully -- the list goes on. And that's because some people would rather take the quick route out than face the barriers that lay stiffly in front of them. But it can be done. I did it. You can too.
That's why people are so focused on everyone else right now. That's why everyone is looking to judge and to point fingers at each other. Because it's incredibly hard to focus on ourselves. It's so much easier to point out where everything is wrong in the world, but so much harder to point out where we are going wrong ourselves. I mean we probably know deep down that something isn't right, but we either don't know how to change it, or the effort that it takes to change that feeling scares us. So that unhappiness is projected out in the world and onto other people. The world we see is like a mirror to our soul. Quote me on that, I like it. We view the world in how we feel inside.
But I'm not pointing the finger at anyone. No way. Who would I be to judge when I was in the exact same position myself just over a decade ago? I'd seen and done some pretty dicey stuff and hated myself to the core for it. And in true "me" fashion I projected that hatred onto other people, and thus lost myself a good few friends in the process. But you live and learn!
So Jordan Peterson was right. What kind of world are you trying to create when the one you are living in isn't set up properly? And even more importantly, how will you know what a healthy world is like when yours isn't sorted yet?
Some deeper questions for you! :)
I just saw the video you made for the contest about regret, so I landed here now.
It's refreshing to see someone willing to look at their limitations and do something about it.
When you talk about watching someone else self-destruct,(especially if you love them to a significant degree) stroke me the most.
It's hard to speak to others about the mistakes we have made ourselves. It also takes the attention off your problems, which are plenty.
I also do agree that it is not until the mid-30s that we start to have SOME idea of wth is going on.
Right!! I worked in the Mental Health system for over 10 years. I saw some pretty decent people go off the rails -- and I just had to sit by and watch. It's hard. But working in that system is never easy. Rewarding at times, but not easy either.
Yep. I generally as a rule these days don't like to talk outwardly about my problems. I have my wife & family for that. But what do you do when you have no-one? I had to start somewhere. Sometimes just admitting it helps :)
Yeah, I'm 39 now. With my skills I can sit in a room and within a day tell you where the problems lay in the dynamics of a work team. But 10 years ago? I didn't have a clue lol
I can't imagine how tough it must be to do that kind of job. The fact that human beings do things like that on their own accord is incredible.
Family, that is another thing we can take for granted. I live on my own in a different country and the times when I got my ass seriously kicked, the family was always there. That was humbling.
Wish I could say the same - I've always been on my own. But the world takes all types! I have a good family now :)
Childhood. Parents fail us. That's where it all goes sour. But yet you can't blame them too much because more than likely their parents failed them lol
We each have a cross to carry, it seems ;)
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