Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father - hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.
The Third Corollary to Murphy's Law: If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.
The right of citizens to bear arms is just one guarantee against arbitrary government, one more safeguard against the tyranny which now appears remote in America, but which historically has proved to be always possible. - Senator Hubert Humphrey
As long as war is looked upon as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular. --Oscar Wilde--
Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week. --George Bernard Shaw--
Critics are a dissembling, dishonest, contemptible race. Asking a working writer wht he thinks about critics is likd asking a fire plug what it feels about dogs. --John Osborne--
Laws of Programming: #9 - Murphy designed all system software Note: For those who may be in doubt, Murphy's Law states that if anything can go wrong, it will, and always at the most inconvenient time.
'Gay' used to be one of the most agreeable words in the language. Its appropriation by a notably morose group is an act of piracy. --Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr.--
Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival. -- Winston Spencer Churchill
There is only one right way for a machine to run. The number of ways it can go wrong is so infinite that every operating engineer lives in constant terror.
Those, who have the command of the arms in a country are masters of the state, and have it in their power to make what revolutions they please. [Thus,] there is no end to observations on the difference between the measures likely to be pursued by a minister backed by a standing army, and those of a court awed by the fear of an armed people. -- Aristotle. Quoted by John Trenchard and Walter Moyle 'An Argument Shewing, That a Standing Army Is Inconsistent with a Free Government, and Absolutely Destructive to the Constitution of the English Monarchy' [London, 1697]
Thoughts on Programming, Number 10: If the poor workman hates his tools, the good workman hates poor tools. The work of the workingman is, in a sense, defined by his tools. -The Psychology of Computer Programming, Gerald M. Weinberg
If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need the aftershave.
Thoughts on Programming, Number 57: I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. -Confucius
It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool.
It seems like once people grow up, they have no idea what's cool...........
Bally Jerry, pranged his kite right in the how's-your-father - hairy blighter, dicky-birded, feathered back on his sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.
Lawyers are ... operators of the toll bridge which anyone in search of justice must cross. --Jane Bryant Quinn--
Laws of Programming: #16 - Make it possible for programmers to write in English and you will find out that programmers cannot write in English
We have your favorite animal cookies. Here's a gorilla... Here's a collared peccary...
Bucy's Law: Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.
Bucy's Law: Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man.........
Watson's Injunction: THINK!
Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes.
The Third Corollary to Murphy's Law: If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.
The right of citizens to bear arms is just one guarantee against arbitrary government, one more safeguard against the tyranny which now appears remote in America, but which historically has proved to be always possible. - Senator Hubert Humphrey
Mahr's Law of Restrained Involvement: Don't get any on you.
The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an Empire. --Voltaire--
The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around. --Herb Caen--
As long as war is looked upon as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular. --Oscar Wilde--
Bombeck's Rule of Medicine: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
A pessimist thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it. --George Bernard Shaw--
No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. --Groucho Marx--
Captain Risser's Law: If it's in stock, we have it!
A Law for the Future: If it's not in a computer, it doesn't exist.
Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week. --George Bernard Shaw--
Do you think there's a God?
Grace's Words: What ever happened to 'manage machine, lead people'
Critics are a dissembling, dishonest, contemptible race. Asking a working writer wht he thinks about critics is likd asking a fire plug what it feels about dogs. --John Osborne--
Murphy's Law, Version No. 19: As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.
Laws of Programming: #9 - Murphy designed all system software Note: For those who may be in doubt, Murphy's Law states that if anything can go wrong, it will, and always at the most inconvenient time.
Who's we, sucker?
Bunuel's Law: Overdoing things is harmful in all cases, even when it comes to efficiency.
'Gay' used to be one of the most agreeable words in the language. Its appropriation by a notably morose group is an act of piracy. --Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr.--
What is youth except a man or a woman before it is ready or fit to be seen? --Evelyn Waugh--
Corporation......An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. --Ambrose Bierce--
Thoughts on Programming, Number 45: I don't know any reason why we couldn't do it, but maybe we can think of one. -Mark C. Davison
Fire's 'appen, Colonel. Fings's burn...
Laws of Programming: #5 - A hardware failure will cause system software to crash, and the customer engineer will blame the programmer
Victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival. -- Winston Spencer Churchill
There is only one right way for a machine to run. The number of ways it can go wrong is so infinite that every operating engineer lives in constant terror.
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out any quicker than the Christmas spirit. --Kin Hubbard--
Those, who have the command of the arms in a country are masters of the state, and have it in their power to make what revolutions they please. [Thus,] there is no end to observations on the difference between the measures likely to be pursued by a minister backed by a standing army, and those of a court awed by the fear of an armed people. -- Aristotle. Quoted by John Trenchard and Walter Moyle 'An Argument Shewing, That a Standing Army Is Inconsistent with a Free Government, and Absolutely Destructive to the Constitution of the English Monarchy' [London, 1697]
Boren's Laws of the Bureaucracy: 1) When in doubt, mumble. 2) When in trouble, delegate. 3) When in charge, ponder.
Law of Annoyance: When working on a project, if you put away a tool that you're certain you're finished with, you will need it instantly.
Thoughts on Programming, Number 10: If the poor workman hates his tools, the good workman hates poor tools. The work of the workingman is, in a sense, defined by his tools. -The Psychology of Computer Programming, Gerald M. Weinberg
The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an Empire. --Voltaire--
Snafu Equation No. 6: Badness comes in waves.
Take my Worf, please.
What number is this, Chip?
He that violates his oath profanes the Divinity of faith itself. - Cicero (found on LA City Hall)
Advertising may be described as the science of arresting human intelligence long enough to get money from it. --Stephen Leacock--