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Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. --Nietzsche--

`As leader, you should never forget those who are loyal to you. You should hold parties for them regularly and have lots of whiskey (free) for them. That way, they get drunk and reveal themselves as the disloyal vermin they all are in reality.' -- On Governing

Oh Mr. Belpit, your legs are so swollen!

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. --Will Rogers--

Boren's Laws of the Bureaucracy: 1) When in doubt, mumble. 2) When in trouble, delegate. 3) When in charge, ponder.

That's the front page, Mrs. Billsby.

In America sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it is a fact. --Marlene Dietrich--

Thoughts on management : If everyone dislikes it, it must be looked into. If everyone likes it, it must be looked into.

It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person to reconcile himself to the idea that after all God will not help him. --H. L. Mencken--

In your plan, `A Better Britain For Us', you claimed that you would build eighty-eight thousand million billion houses a year in the greater London area alone. In fact, you built only three in the last 15 years. Are you a bit disappointed with this result?

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. --Stephen Leacock--

The Fifth Corollary to Murphy's Law: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.

The last thing you want is an educated, affluent and emancipated population. Power hinges on the restriction and control of wealth. Science and technology offer unlimited wealth. Therefore, science and technology have to be controlled. Knowledge and reason are enemies. Myth and unreason are the weapons you fight them with.

The evidence before the court is incontrovertible; there's no need for the jury to retire.

Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others. --Oscar Wilde--

If cowardly and dishonorable men sometimes shoot unarmed men with army pistols or guns, the evil must be prevented by the penitentiary and gallows, and not by a general deprivation of a constitutional privilege. - Ark. Supreme Court, 1878

Hey Dad, you crossed my line of death!

Benchley's Law: Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.

Oh, right away, sport, right away, you know! I 'aven't 'ad it for weeks!

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stomping on a human face -- forever. --George Orwell--

It is easier to denature plutonium than to denature the evil spirit of man. --Albert Einstein--

I don't patronize bunny rabbits!

You have an annoying fascination for timepieces, Mr. Sulu.

Thoughts on Programming, Number 55: Design of both hardware and software must be considered when doing the system design. -Proceedings of the IEEE, 2/78, p.167

The battle, Sir, is not to the strong alone; it is to the vigilant, the active, the brave. Besides, Sir, we have no election. If we were base enough to desire it, it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston! The war is inevitable; and let it come! I repeat, Sir, let it come!' - Patrick Henry (1736-1799) in his famous 'The War Inevitable' speech, March, 1775

Bicycle Repair Man, how can I ever repay you?

Rev. Mahaffey's Observation: There's no such thing as a small whiskey.

If the world were a logical place, Men would ride side-saddle. --Rita Mae Brown--

[The vector] has never been of the slightest use to any creature. -Lord Kelvin

Llamas are larger than frogs.

Every revolution evaporates and leaves behind only the slime of a new bureaucracy. --Franz Kafka--

Birds of prey know they're cool.

Whatever goes around, comes around.

Gordon's First Law: If a project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing well.

It's the central preoccupation of my life.

To me it is like a mountain.. a vast BOWL of PUS!

Boyle's Observation: A welfare state is one that assumes responsibility for the health, happiness, and general well-being of all its citizens except the taxpayers.

Rules of Pratt: #1 If a severe problem manifests itself, no solution is acceptable unless it is involved, expensive, and time consuming

Life does not cease to be funny when people die and more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. --George Bernard Shaw--

Landau's Programming Paradox: #3 A software committee of one is limited by its own horizon and will only specify that far.

Arriving home, they learned that Glenn and Edna Catwomb had been slain by maniacs.

It is easier to denature plutonium than to denature the evil spirit of man. --Albert Einstein--

Disperse you Rebels - Damn you, throw down your Arms and disperse. -- Maj. John Pitcairn, Lexington, MA, April 19, 1775

Communism is like one big phone company. --Lenny Bruce--

I don't know what you want here, but I think you should know that I've killed a LOT of old people in my time, and I'm not above doing it again.

You think you got it rough? What about your darling doggy? Ten short years and he's getting old and groggy.

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