Haha this was tooo funny! You first few lines had me hooked on straight away. I'm a truck mechanic and this is a refreshing tone to hear. Lots of swearing and lots of emotion, all with bags of sarcasm. Loved it will proudly re-steem this.
Glad to see you have called Mountbatten out, as you are spot on about his dirty shitty "scouting for boy" past. Another Lizard baby has joined the clan...
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Hello sweaty commoner. Thank you for your comment, and indeed your service, giving your life-force to me and my friends. Obviously, I don't want to come anywhere near you, or shake your hand or anything, because of your toxic BO and enormous overhanging belly from a lifetime of sausage and egg butties and Brown Ale.
However, as a gesture of goodwill, I will send you a voucher for 50% off your assisted suicide at Dignitas.